Venting i think i'm going to ctb tomorrow

[Dumbass]

not a goodbye thread because my attempts have never worked prior so i don't want to appeal to get my account back if it fails. i don't know i just want to say it somewhere. it feels weird i'm not even excited like a lot of my prior attempts, the feeling in my chest is so dull

 

[locked*n*loaded]

How are you planning on attempting?

 

[Dumbass]

How are you planning on attempting?

i know its a selfish and not too certain method but im going by train

 

[locked*n*loaded]

i know its a selfish and not too certain method but im going by train

I know you'll get it from others, but no judgment here. I'll just say I think it's risky. It's not out of the realm of possibility to be only deflected off the train (if you're planning to use the "jump in front of" method), and only end up seriously hurt, but not killed. It can happen. The other train way is decapitation by laying your neck on the tracks, but that takes an enormous amount of discipline and fortitude. I hope you really think things through with this method regarding the risk of being unsuccessful and, if you go through with it, I hope you plan it out as best you can so you'll have the greatest chance of success for yourself.

 

[Dumbass]

I know you'll get it from others, but no judgment here. I'll just say I think it's risky. It's not out of the realm of possibility to be only deflected off the train (if you're planning to use the "jump in front of" method), and only end up seriously hurt, but not killed. It can happen. The other train way is decapitation by laying your neck on the tracks, but that takes an enormous amount of discipline and fortitude. I hope you really think things through with this method regarding the risk of being unsuccessful and, if you go through with it, I hope you plan it out as best you can so you'll have the greatest chance of success for yourself.

thank you! i have tracks right next to my house so i'm either going to sit on them or do the neck thing, i have done this before but the last time i had enough willpower to sit through was four years ago and no trains passed for 5 hours i think i have enough willpower this time and am bringing distractions since i can't really access sleep-inducing stuff but i will try to make myself pass out via hyperventilation so i have less of a chance of getting up when i hear a train! though i don't know if i'm able to do that properly. thank you so much, i really appreciate it!

 

[Iloveher]

Hi. I am new here and am strongly considering suicide too. But it really makes me sad to hear that you are going to do it , even though I do not know you, but of course it is your choice , nobody else's but yours. I do hope you take the best decision and will find peace somehow.
Sorry if I havent contributed to your thread but I just read it and I felt like leaving a comment , be strong

 

[Dumbass]

Hi. I am new here and am strongly considering suicide too. But it really makes me sad to hear that you are going to do it , even though I do not know you, but of course it is your choice , nobody else's but yours. I do hope you take the best decision and will find peace somehow.
Sorry if I havent contributed to your thread but I just read it and I felt like leaving a comment , be strong

thank you so much! i get what you mean, i've felt the same when seeing goodbye threads or crossed out accounts on here haha, its such an odd feeling! thank you. i hope the same to you, i really appreciate it :]

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you make the right decisions for you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope you find peace.

 

[Dumbass]

I hope you make the right decisions for you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope you find peace.

thank you !

 

[Dumbass]

not a goodbye thread because my attempts have never worked prior so i don't want to appeal to get my account back if it fails. i don't know i just want to say it somewhere. it feels weird i'm not even excited like a lot of my prior attempts, the feeling in my chest is so dull

unsure if i can edit posts but either way i dont know how to do it on mobile: i am alive and ended up going with my friend to a comic book store after waiting for a few hours. i feel better knowing i am able to do it but i feel shitty for the fact that i am alive LOL. its okay. i'll rest some day and i guess this is why it wasnt a goodbye thread.

 

[Dumbass]

wasn't going to post abt todays attempt but i tried the same thing and after 2 hours, the funniest thing happened:
a train did pass! but on the wrong lane!! it was really funny to me in a way. i just took it as a sign to get off the tracks and try again a different day.