I think I’m going to be alone forever because I’m the ugly fat girl.. are there any men who could ever love me?

[protector_iorek]

Why does everyone hate me? I'll never find love I realized.. I'll never have a boyfriend or husband. I'll never be held. I'll probably never have any sexual experiences again.. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm 34 and single and this is it for me. I'm ugly and fat and I know that's why. I've lost tons of weight before but I always gain it back. I've lost 100lbs twice in my life and gained it back TWICE.. I even ran 2 marathons.. My therapist dx'ed me with BED..

It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what diets I do (I've done them all). I've heard all the advice. I've dieted to the ends of earth and back. I know the calories in everything. I'm tired of fucking diet advice. I'm tired of keto this keto that. I'm tired of being recommended fucking WLS. I don't want any of this crap. Dieting is a trap to just gain the weight right back in 5 years or less. If I get one more piece of "advice" or "I lost XYZ pounds by doing XYZ" I'm going to freak the fuck out.

I'm just tired. I'm just this way. And when I try not to be this way I can be successful for a bit but not forever. I've been fat since I was a child. It's like I was born cursed, born to suffer, born to be a punching bag. I just wish I could stop. I wanna get off this train. I just wanna be accepted for me.

Why does my whole life have to revolve around how I look? This is all I boil down to when people see me. I'm just a bag of flesh. Just FAT. It's like I have no personality, no brain, no soul. I don't even exist to people. People see people like me and just pretend I don't exist because they don't want me to exist. They want me dead. You want me dead. You just don't know it but you do. With the ingrained biases drilled into you against fat people, especially fat women. You all hate me.

I really want to end it. I can't live in this body anymore. Any body actually. Because no matter what body I live in I'll always just be exactly that: a body. Nothing more. I hate being a woman. A body is all the worth I seem to have.

I wish I wasn't such a piece of shit and had the courage to just end it.

You always see bigger guys with a beautiful girl.. You never see a big girl with a gorgeous guy. I know men hate me. But I love big men, I love fat men. But they don't love me.. no one will have me.

I'm so angry. I hate being alive. I just don't want to exist anymore. I wish I'd get hit by a bus or shot somehow. I know I have everything it takes to have a relationship, it's just that I know NO ONE will ever love me or want me because of this body. All I'll ever be is a fetish to somebody or a waste of space. And that's all.

I'm really spiraling rn.. I can't do this. I just can't.. I hate society too much to live in it. I don't belong. I'm too ugly. I'm tired. I can't take the pain anymore.. I'm gonna go self harm or something..

 

[zixd]

hey .. take it easy , i get yr pain and how society shapes it , i was fat too but i accepted myself cause i couldnt do anythint about it , i wish i can help ..

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

it fucking hurts being fat and i completly relate to your hate towards society. Love will find you in a one way or another one thing u can take as a postive from it u are scaring away people who only look for a quickie or who only care about looks. U will find someone who will love you for who u really are, im one of the people who dont give a fuck about it and my existance only proves that they are more people like me. Good things will come your way im sure and dont try to change yourself for aprove of other. Much love

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

I'm 35 ugly, fat and stupid. I'm married. But never thought I would be.

How big are we talking? Because you may perceive yourself worse than anyone else does.

 

[Sn0wy0wl]

I'm 35 lost my job two days ago and registered on this forum.
So we have different problems.
Self worth comes from different types of validation. Not everyone validates through looks and relationships.
How about success in some other fields? Can you focus on your career? Anything else?

 

[lowres]

Meeting people can be really challenging, being lonely is a tough issue to have and its a big struggle to make meaningful relationships. I can't offer too much advice on how to get into meeting people as that is stuff that I'm also trying to figure out lol. anecdotally i've seen quite a few of sculpted dudes with chubby girls, I wouldn't say its common but its certainly not impossible. I myself am a chubby guy with a chubby gf and I find her very beautiful. There are certainly others like me out there wishing they could find a beautiful woman they can be fat with lol.

I know its not really much but I am certain that you can be loved and there are one hundo percent people who fw your body type.

Calorie counting limited diets are not sustainable in my opinion, unless ur like a guy who wants to get all oiled up on a stage and flex and its like ur job or some shit. Self control is good but finding balance in what you eat is key imo, I often eat some not great meals, but mostly avoiding sugary treats has helped me maintain my current weight for the last few years, everyone is different, a huge variety of changes can affect everyone differently, could be thyroid shit, finding that key can help at least maintain ones body.

I find myself getting more confident despite still having a big gut the more I work out and improve my physical capability, also just dressing in nice clothes and carving out my own style has helped for my confidence, I'm into weird shit so it was pretty scary dressing the way i wanted at first.

I'm still very insecure about my body but my point is that ev

My perspective and experience is also different as a man, my gf has told me about difficulties she faced socially growing up and being obese and its an incredible challenge, despite that shes made it through, she still struggles with body image but its been getting better with time.

I hope im not just yapping 2 much abt my own shit, im kinda rambling. I'm just hoping to give you another perspective from someone who is also fat and has struggled with loving themselves and finding love.

Even without body image issues finding meaningful connections is hard, its an uphill battle but developing yourself emotionally and putting urself into circles that you might meet people are worthwhile.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Why does everyone hate me? I'll never find love I realized.. I'll never have a boyfriend or husband. I'll never be held. I'll probably never have any sexual experiences again.. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm 34 and single and this is it for me. I'm ugly and fat and I know that's why. I've lost tons of weight before but I always gain it back. I've lost 100lbs twice in my life and gained it back TWICE.. I even ran 2 marathons.. My therapist dx'ed me with BED..

It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what diets I do (I've done them all). I've heard all the advice. I've dieted to the ends of earth and back. I know the calories in everything. I'm tired of fucking diet advice. I'm tired of keto this keto that. I'm tired of being recommended fucking WLS. I don't want any of this crap. Dieting is a trap to just gain the weight right back in 5 years or less. If I get one more piece of "advice" or "I lost XYZ pounds by doing XYZ" I'm going to freak the fuck out.

I'm just tired. I'm just this way. And when I try not to be this way I can be successful for a bit but not forever. I've been fat since I was a child. It's like I was born cursed, born to suffer, born to be a punching bag. I just wish I could stop. I wanna get off this train. I just wanna be accepted for me.

Why does my whole life have to revolve around how I look? This is all I boil down to when people see me. I'm just a bag of flesh. Just FAT. It's like I have no personality, no brain, no soul. I don't even exist to people. People see people like me and just pretend I don't exist because they don't want me to exist. They want me dead. You want me dead. You just don't know it but you do. With the ingrained biases drilled into you against fat people, especially fat women. You all hate me.

I really want to end it. I can't live in this body anymore. Any body actually. Because no matter what body I live in I'll always just be exactly that: a body. Nothing more. I hate being a woman. A body is all the worth I seem to have.

I wish I wasn't such a piece of shit and had the courage to just end it.

You always see bigger guys with a beautiful girl.. You never see a big girl with a gorgeous guy. I know men hate me. But I love big men, I love fat men. But they don't love me.. no one will have me.

I'm so angry. I hate being alive. I just don't want to exist anymore. I wish I'd get hit by a bus or shot somehow. I know I have everything it takes to have a relationship, it's just that I know NO ONE will ever love me or want me because of this body. All I'll ever be is a fetish to somebody or a waste of space. And that's all.

I'm really spiraling rn.. I can't do this. I just can't.. I hate society too much to live in it. I don't belong. I'm too ugly. I'm tired. I can't take the pain anymore.. I'm gonna go self harm or something..

Besides therapy, have you gotten actual help from a psychologist/psychiatrist for your disorder? BED is just as bad as AN, they are two sides of the same coin. It's a disorder, and deserves to be treated with the love and support any other eating disorder would. I hope you're able to ease your pain.

 

[outrider567]

Why does everyone hate me? I'll never find love I realized.. I'll never have a boyfriend or husband. I'll never be held. I'll probably never have any sexual experiences again.. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm 34 and single and this is it for me. I'm ugly and fat and I know that's why. I've lost tons of weight before but I always gain it back. I've lost 100lbs twice in my life and gained it back TWICE.. I even ran 2 marathons.. My therapist dx'ed me with BED..

It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what diets I do (I've done them all). I've heard all the advice. I've dieted to the ends of earth and back. I know the calories in everything. I'm tired of fucking diet advice. I'm tired of keto this keto that. I'm tired of being recommended fucking WLS. I don't want any of this crap. Dieting is a trap to just gain the weight right back in 5 years or less. If I get one more piece of "advice" or "I lost XYZ pounds by doing XYZ" I'm going to freak the fuck out.

I'm just tired. I'm just this way. And when I try not to be this way I can be successful for a bit but not forever. I've been fat since I was a child. It's like I was born cursed, born to suffer, born to be a punching bag. I just wish I could stop. I wanna get off this train. I just wanna be accepted for me.

Why does my whole life have to revolve around how I look? This is all I boil down to when people see me. I'm just a bag of flesh. Just FAT. It's like I have no personality, no brain, no soul. I don't even exist to people. People see people like me and just pretend I don't exist because they don't want me to exist. They want me dead. You want me dead. You just don't know it but you do. With the ingrained biases drilled into you against fat people, especially fat women. You all hate me.

I really want to end it. I can't live in this body anymore. Any body actually. Because no matter what body I live in I'll always just be exactly that: a body. Nothing more. I hate being a woman. A body is all the worth I seem to have.

I wish I wasn't such a piece of shit and had the courage to just end it.

You always see bigger guys with a beautiful girl.. You never see a big girl with a gorgeous guy. I know men hate me. But I love big men, I love fat men. But they don't love me.. no one will have me.

I'm so angry. I hate being alive. I just don't want to exist anymore. I wish I'd get hit by a bus or shot somehow. I know I have everything it takes to have a relationship, it's just that I know NO ONE will ever love me or want me because of this body. All I'll ever be is a fetish to somebody or a waste of space. And that's all.

I'm really spiraling rn.. I can't do this. I just can't.. I hate society too much to live in it. I don't belong. I'm too ugly. I'm tired. I can't take the pain anymore.. I'm gonna go self harm or something..

Well, that's not true that all men only like thin women, most of my girlfriends were well overweight, some near 200 lbs, and i've always been pretty thin myself, and anyway the fact that you lost a lot of weight twice before shows that you do possess plenty of willpower to better yourself

 

[endlessmelancholy]

I'm 32 m. I had lost 55 kgs but I 20 kgs back. I know people judge us by the way we look. I experience it. I hope you find happiness beyond your physical appearance.

 

[Dejected 55]

I can honestly say that when I was younger and in very good shape, women didn't like me any more than they like me now old and overweight. I've been attracted to women of all shapes,sizes, and colors. I can't deny physical appearance plays a part, but it really is so much more than that for me. If I like someone, I like her body. If I don't like her, it doesn't matter what kind of body she has.

And, as I said, in my experience it's not like women wanted me when I was in shape and stopped when I fell out... they just never want me, period. I don't know if that helps, but it is truth.

 

[Hotsackage]

Im bigger to, but that doesn't define the person you are. I know that sounds cliche, but don't let society define who you are as a person, im sure there's someone out there for you.