0kcomputer
he/they, neurodivergent dude
- Oct 27, 2024
- 29
Hi, im sorry im back on here.
But uh, I genuinely think I need to just...give up.
I've started the process of therapy and afterward I had this...great "euphoria" and I researched autism until I had like cognitive sensory overload and all these things making very crazy emotions and I finally talked to my girlfriend about how she thinks I'm feeling.
She thinks I'm completely drained. And I finally sat with myself for a while, and realized my entire body is numb, I have no enjoyment or anything. My head hurts. And it's obvious by the thread I can't think clearly.
My anorexia is killing me.
I dont know if I should panic or...accept it. My head hurts, my heart is so slow and my body is so slow too. I cant feel anything. My brain hurts.
It all hurts.
Im just, so tired, but I feel like im too young for this shit. I dont know why I'm dying, maybe im just being dramatic but this is probably what happens when you starve yourself for almost 2-3 years and halfway through decide to starve for 258 days straight of purely under 950 calories and that's all you give yourself.
Im not the smallest, around bmi 16 or so. But...i just feel horrible.
Im sorry it's so confusing to read this i can't think right now.
My body hurts.
It hurts. It genuinely just all hurts so much i can't think. Sorry.
I just want to be heard just in case.
But uh, I genuinely think I need to just...give up.
I've started the process of therapy and afterward I had this...great "euphoria" and I researched autism until I had like cognitive sensory overload and all these things making very crazy emotions and I finally talked to my girlfriend about how she thinks I'm feeling.
She thinks I'm completely drained. And I finally sat with myself for a while, and realized my entire body is numb, I have no enjoyment or anything. My head hurts. And it's obvious by the thread I can't think clearly.
My anorexia is killing me.
I dont know if I should panic or...accept it. My head hurts, my heart is so slow and my body is so slow too. I cant feel anything. My brain hurts.
It all hurts.
Im just, so tired, but I feel like im too young for this shit. I dont know why I'm dying, maybe im just being dramatic but this is probably what happens when you starve yourself for almost 2-3 years and halfway through decide to starve for 258 days straight of purely under 950 calories and that's all you give yourself.
Im not the smallest, around bmi 16 or so. But...i just feel horrible.
Im sorry it's so confusing to read this i can't think right now.
My body hurts.
It hurts. It genuinely just all hurts so much i can't think. Sorry.
I just want to be heard just in case.
