I think he’s actually gone this time.

[wealllovesodium]

I think he actually did it this time, and it feels like it's my fault. I held up to my promise with him, I really did. But he wouldn't accept the fact that the reason that I don't know if I actually did was the fact that I was drugged out of mind and in a place I wasn't with people I didn't know. I'm trying not to break down because I've been over at friends apartment but I can't go check on him because of my relationship with the other people in the house. And I can't call the cops because it'll end up like last summer. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[getoutgirl]

Can you ask a friend to call his house? Fake whatever excuse. Like hey this is vjwfvbkjwhdfbv, is knkjafnv home? he has a package waiting or smth.
I'm really sorry you are in that position now, I also learned that lack of closure and constant worry of not knowing if someone you care for has commited suicide is so consuming it's beyond words. It feels awful, take deep breaths and try to do your best until you learn more. all my hugs <3333