i started drinking again

[madgod]

heavily. it's cheap and i have better access to it than weed even though it makes me feel like garbage and i have no filter when i drink. i just sit in my room and watch youtube and suck on lukewarm booze until i fall asleep. i'm mad about it and i know i'll get fat off of it but it's better than the lack of sleep i get without anything. it's better than wanting to cut to bone. too bad i'm too weak to off myself anytime soon, maybe cirrhosis will hit me in my 40s... who knows, i guess you could say i'd drink to that.

 

[lymestolemylife]

heavily. it's cheap and i have better access to it than weed even though it makes me feel like garbage and i have no filter when i drink. i just sit in my room and watch youtube and suck on lukewarm booze until i fall asleep. i'm mad about it and i know i'll get fat off of it but it's better than the lack of sleep i get without anything. it's better than wanting to cut to bone. too bad i'm too weak to off myself anytime soon, maybe cirrhosis will hit me in my 40s... who knows, i guess you could say i'd drink to that.

I'm sorry, had quite a few tonight myself. I ain't judging you. Insomnia is hell. Hangovers are too lol. Sometimes a hang over is better than no sleep. That can make you feel so shattered. Overall I give the human experience a big fat 1 in the 1-10 rating system. Evil humans suck and ruin it all for the rest of us.

 

[madgod]

i have pretty bad violent thoughts i couldn't sort out as a teen. they never went away i just play the mind game of "eh... would this change anything". my ideal partner is someone i could lock up and keep to myself and the idea of dying and killing for them makes me blood thirsty. i get angry to the point where i see red sometimes, it's like my brain shuts down and i just shake and want to grab the nearest object and just beat someone's head in. i've always been obsessed with gore and maybe i ruined myself for it but i know abuse ruined me and made me angry the way i am.

i like this website, probably better than drunk texting my ex or my crush (fuck both of them btw i'm done being a simp). booze and weed and dogs are my only friends and sobriety is like slow mental suicide. i don't have faith in people at this point, even the nice ones. i keep thinking this is some simulation i need to wake up from for things to get better. maybe that's just a mild for of my psychosis leaking out. maybe i'm just desperate for a fresh start.

 

[lovehate22]

just want to say props for no longer being a simp (or a white knight as its sometimes referred to by older people)

 

[SpottedPanda]

On occasion a drink can be nice. If only I could handle it. Either my body rejects it and I feel ill. If it didn't I'd probably be drinking heavily, as I enjoy the feeling of being drunk

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

Not the worst thing that could happen to you.

I suck up vodka like there is no tomorrow and believe that it has saved my life so far.