I spend my days now just floating throufh

[Tintypographer]

I hate my multiple jobs. I know many people would be glad to have careers but mine are endless meetings, people begging for my help, extra project managers and extra reviewers all to condense what I do down into a few bullet points on a PowerPoint image then we restart. People never come to me with good news. They come with collosal problems usually to derail whatever I'm working on. I work two jobs. Not because I need a second one but because the second one simply won't go away. No one ever comes and says "here is the screw up and here is what we have tested and here is what I recommend we do. The y usually email a Vice President at the company and say "the project looks like it is totally screwed and we don't have any way to fix it" which results in dozens of meetings and status reports for me to do and it's usually something like we need to switch suppliers or the data source for something was temporarily down.

This turned into a rant. It's not supposed to be. I don't want to live anymore. I spend all parts of my day wishing for death. It's horrible and painful and I no longer want to exist.

Every day I nearly pull the trigger to fly somewhere and jump from something. I don't tell my counselors or therapists the truth anymore. That just gets me in trouble.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damnt,. That sounds like a Heavy weight on top of your shoulders. I really don't know if I could deal with that sort of pressure / stress around me on a daily basis.

I just have 1 job.... That in and of itself makes me want to pull the trigger and be Gone. Yesterday was especially hard with my immediate Dickhead supervisor... FML.

I wish you the best and hope you can take care if possible.

Thoughts and prayers. -.

 

[WadeingThru]

I feel your pain. I vented about my job this morning. Getting it out helped me get through the day. I think will live to work another day.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so stressful and unbearable what you are going through. I am sorry that you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'm working two jobs too, I wish I could quit one but the alone time with my head is just as bad as the exhaustion from the jobs. Probably worse, since they can be distractions. Your jobs sound really stressful, best of luck dealing with them. I hope you can get some rest eventually, I'm sure you need it. Once exhaustion sets in it seems like it will never leave and then another week starts to begin it all again.