I sont want to see my therapist anymore

[jawdropped123]

I have this condition that makes me smell bad. Its based on your diet. The unhealthy food makes you smel bad and the healthy food needs to be extremely healthy and it takes months for the smell to completely go away. I got it from my father. Im suicidal and i have a therapist. I never told my therapist about my condition but two days ago he told me something that hurt me. I was telling her that i was so stressed and im always trying to please everyone and he told me:" i wish you would you call me one time to tell you you dont want to come because youre tired" even tho he meant that in a nice way i know it have a different meaning behind it. I know that it has everything to do with my condition so i decided that im not going to therapy anymore. And i wish i get so bad that i end up killing myself

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer like this. I find it really awful how so many health conditions exist. Life is just too unfair.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry that you've had this experience. I can understand how crushing it must feel to suffer with your condition. I've only spoken to a college therapist a couple of times and it's a very vulnerable strained situation, so I can understand why this upset you.

I'm not trying to dismiss your worry but are you sure the comment was made because of your condition? Obviously, you were there and know what context it was said in, so I don't mean to question you in a horrible way. I just mean that your condition is certain (I would imagine) to make you paranoid that other people are noticing and want to avoid you. It could be that maybe your therapist thinks you are just pushing yourself too hard- if the comment was made after you said you felt like you were always trying to please everyone. Maybe it was more of a- 'you don't need to do everything all the time' rather than trying to get out of seeing you... It would actually be pretty unprofessional if that really were the case.

Honestly, I think maybe you should tell your therapist about your condition- even tell them that you thought they were trying to avoid you. It's clearly something that's having a deep impact on your life.

As for my awkward therapist story- my Mum died when I was 3. My therapist asked me whether I wanted children- to which I replied- 'no'. She surmised that maybe the reason was because my own childhood was painful and that having children would make me think about that. I hadn't really thought of that. Could partly be true but it's more that I wouldn't want to bring a life into this dreadful existence.

Anyhow, I probably felt a bit awkward after that, so I asked her whether she had children (mostly just to fill an awkward silence). She paused and then said she wasn't going to answer that. That this was a proffessional relationship rather than a friendship. Of course- she was absolutely right but it made me feel so uncomfortable and weird. Like she was worried I'd start seeing her as a mother figure and become a stalker or something. I'd already decided I didn't want anymore 'sessions' but we didn't end all that well.

I think it's a very brave thing to pour your heart out to a complete stranger. I think it's easy to get hurt and deeply interpret things they say because we are in that vulnerable state. Personally, I think it might be worth another try with them and just be honest about what's really bothering you- although I'm honestly being a hypocrite encouraging you to go when I won't! In any case, I hope things improve for you.