I remember trying to ctb when I was 11 years old

[esoterispeec]

When I was a child (11) I took a bunch of silica gel packets (The stuff that comes inside of shoe boxes) and swallowed them all in my room and just started crying and panicking thinking I was going to die. It says DO NOT EAT on them so I assumed they were poisonous. They're not actually poisonous and nothing even happened. little did I know back then how hard it is to obtain a reliable substance that will do the job.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

What a coincidence! At age 11 I bought a Game Boy with money stolen from my dad. Every single day I was playing the console on the school bus so at one point the driver threatened to report my addiction to my parents. Overcome with fear, I took a handful of silica gel crystals when I got home with the intention of ending my life and ended up with a mild case of diarrhoea. I knew silica gel was toxic from previous accidental ingestion.

On a separate occasion that year my dad exaggerated about his heart condition. I was close to him at that time, so the thought of losing him was unbearable and I considered ctb if it happened. Manipulative bastard is the bane of my existence and I (adult me) am now committed to undoing the damage he's done to me once and for all.