Venting I really regret letting myself develop an eating disorder

[SpiderMolt]

I probably could've prevented it if I just stopped engaging with that kind of stuff on social media. But instead I just kept going on Twitter seeing people with severe Anorexia who literally promote it. I'd see them and think "I wanna look like that too." When I first started having those thoughts I'd remind myself that I actually didn't want that. Eventually, I ended upfully believing I wanted that.

After I 'realized' that I'd be happier like that I started starving myself. I ended up not even being able to eat without feeling completely sick. Now, I still have major issues when it comes to eating. But I keep telling myself that I'm not skinny enough. I know those thoughts will never leave. I hate it. I hate it so much. I know I could've prevented it, but I didn't. I can't even eat anymore.

 

[DiniMom]

It can happen really fast. If you want to get better, I suggest therapy, not only to treat the ed, but much more to find the underlying cause of it. May you have a problem with your self image in general that led to it. I can believe that it's hard to beat the voices, but I hope you will learn that they are lying to you. You don't need to be so skinny and even if you manage to get or ne skinny, it won't be enough for the ed. The ed wants you dead. More important than the look or weight is the health of your body. It's not worth it to be skinny if you have a body that has no energy and if you are suffering. If you are not ready for therapy or can't afford it, it can be helpful to search for recovery accounts on diverse social media platforms. But please have caution if they are really recovery accounts, because some only do the opposite. Or maybe it even be best to delete twitter at all. I wish you all the strengh and good luck

 

[riktfar]

I probably could've prevented it if I just stopped engaging with that kind of stuff on social media. But instead I just kept going on Twitter seeing people with severe Anorexia who literally promote it. I'd see them and think "I wanna look like that too." When I first started having those thoughts I'd remind myself that I actually didn't want that. Eventually, I ended upfully believing I wanted that.

After I 'realized' that I'd be happier like that I started starving myself. I ended up not even being able to eat without feeling completely sick. Now, I still have major issues when it comes to eating. But I keep telling myself that I'm not skinny enough. I know those thoughts will never leave. I hate it. I hate it so much. I know I could've prevented it, but I didn't. I can't even eat anymore.

I trained myself to not eat unless I weight lifted a while ago, and ate only a salad a day before that while I was cardio training in HS and came out of it pretty easily. there's ways to manage and control your appetite, like triggered eating. Love of potatoes or other textured food. I would suggest smoothies or something of the sort and possibly eating for intentionally purposes like after push ups or something

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

As far as I'm concerned, eating disorders happen, not by choice, but are triggered by events, situations, whatever. I get upset, I stop eating for days, always had a problem with food, same as my self-harming, I get triggered, and off I go.