I plan to ctb in 2 days and just got this text from the love of my life... i don't know what to do

[ancryxia]

I need to CTB. I want to escape from this pain in my head. But I love him and want to spend my future with him.
I am heartbroken thinking of him not having me. At the same time thinking of staying alive for him is a hard thought, I'll have to live each and every day of my life with mental suffering.

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

Does he know of your mental suffering, if not your plans to ctb? It seems (to me, at least) that he talks with high certainty that you'll still be around in the future.

 

[ancryxia]

Does he know of your mental suffering, if not your plans to ctb? It seems (to me, at least) that he talks with high certainty that you'll still be around in the future.

No, he doesn't know. He thinks I'm getting better. I don't even know if I should CTB now because of him. I wouldn't want to hurt him that bad if I left him, which is what this post is about. I'm torn.

 

[Sickofit]

You gotta be 100% certain he TRULY loves you. Lotta fakes out hear nowdays. If you are and you know hes gonna stick beside you forever than you decide that, or end it off early. Or maybe think of it long term, maybe once your together and life still sucks for you then do what you need.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

Have you never met him IRL?

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

No, he doesn't know. He thinks I'm getting better. I don't even know if I should CTB now because of him. I wouldn't want to hurt him that bad if I left him, which is what this post is about. I'm torn.

i agree with @Sickofit . Although you guys might fully be in love with each other, there is still a major element of withheld information (since he doesn't know that you are planning on ctb). As you mentioned earlier, if you guys go to live together in the future and you still experience such mental suffering and/or desire to ctb, then there might be tension. But I don't know your relationship with him (besides the screenshot). I suggest you think long term as well, with how you will be affected, especially mentally, if you decide to continue the relationship or not.

 

[azucaramargo]

I am envious that you are able to keep your mental struggles a secret. Also, I'm envious that you have someone who cares so deeply for you.

 

[Herbalpompano75]

You need to go see him seriously don't put it off like it did and end up like me go right now and see him and make sure you both are in love and do whatever it takes and I can promise the pain will go away maybe not right away but if you really love him and you work your ass of to see him and you get to wake up next to him and realize you love him and your happy

 

[Boxoftools]

You need to go see him seriously don't put it off like it did and end up like me go right now and see him and make sure you both are in love and do whatever it takes and I can promise the pain will go away maybe not right away but if you really love him and you work your ass of to see him and you get to wake up next to him and realize you love him and your happy

^ this. Once your lose someone like that you really appreciate the chance to make it happen, even if its not for yourself.

Be open and be honest, but go. Probably the one thing that can still give you a enjoyable life when depressed is love.

 

[Shinji is a failure]

I would recommend meeting with him, sometimes all it takes to ease mental anguish is one persons existence in your life. No matter what happens I hope you find a way to lessen your pain.

 

[Shinji is a failure]

Also if you feel comfortable with him I would talk about how you feel, most people aren't horrible and will probably understand at least, if not relate.

 

[azucaramargo]

Really nicely put.

I would recommend meeting with him, sometimes all it takes to ease mental anguish is one persons existence in your life. No matter what happens I hope you find a way to lessen your pain.