Yeah his reaction was okay. I am good in assessing whether people will react empathetic or not. This is important for me so that I don't get hurt. I have helped him a lot. Shared some materials for college etc. I was not sure how he reacts. I don't wanted to feel like a burden for him. I think this is quite an unhealthy thought. We should not think like that. Reaching out for help is important. Though it is a thought in my head and I can't really resist this feeling fully.
He told me something like he can relate to one reason for my struggling. But our conversation was based on other topics which were more important for me. I think he is really trustworthy and a friendly person. But I have only said to him that I have a mental illness nothing more. I had to explain that in order to ask my other questions. Otherwise they would not have made sense.
I feel good after I shared it with him. I am curious how he will behave the next time we meet. Probably we act like nothing happened. One issue we talked about is whether I am skilled enough in a special field in order to succeed in my studies. I have huge self-doubts and I am really anxious that I am too stupid in order to succeed. He told me he thinks I was very intelligent. I am happy about that. This is exactly the impression I want to induce in the people around me. I am a fraud. I always pretend I was smarter than I really am. I think he might be even smarter than me. But I am really good in deceiving people. I am so pathetic. This is all caused by my bullying. I am so depedent what others think about me. It gave me a thrilling feeling when he wrote me that. I feel so pathetic.
He told me something like he can relate to one reason for my struggling. But our conversation was based on other topics which were more important for me. I think he is really trustworthy and a friendly person. But I have only said to him that I have a mental illness nothing more. I had to explain that in order to ask my other questions. Otherwise they would not have made sense.
I feel good after I shared it with him. I am curious how he will behave the next time we meet. Probably we act like nothing happened. One issue we talked about is whether I am skilled enough in a special field in order to succeed in my studies. I have huge self-doubts and I am really anxious that I am too stupid in order to succeed. He told me he thinks I was very intelligent. I am happy about that. This is exactly the impression I want to induce in the people around me. I am a fraud. I always pretend I was smarter than I really am. I think he might be even smarter than me. But I am really good in deceiving people. I am so pathetic. This is all caused by my bullying. I am so depedent what others think about me. It gave me a thrilling feeling when he wrote me that. I feel so pathetic.
