Venting I never asked for this.

[Lou_Charthethird]

I have absolutely no substance in my lige anymore. there is nothing that exists, no point to it. I try doing new things but nothing is there. I try to doing old things i used to enjoy before this happened, but nothing is there. I dont even belong here bec i genuinely dont feel any pain or discomfort or sadness, not anymore atleast. I used to be heavily depressed, but this is just nothing. I have absolutely no reason to keep going. My brain is hardwired to ignore emotional connection. Im going to kill myself bec nothing is happening. There is no satisfaction of life, and there is pain of it either. I just exist, with no real motive.

I never asked for this. For any of this to happen. Why is my life so fucking awful. First its hardcore depression, filled with crying and loneliness and mental illness, now its absolute drained of any meaning, as if my body has already given up.

I never fucking asked for this.

Whats funnier is i dont even care that my life is ruined. I cant even go out of my way to try and fix it because there is no part of me that wants to. Maybe there's something i dont know, maybe its too dangerous out there to be me again.

But the alternative is living like this, and its utterly pointless and inhumane to live like this

 

[Pale_Rider]

I feel your pain. Alternating pain, and numbness I should say. A planet that cannot begin to understand. I'm over it, but here I am still. Seems all I can do is complain about it.