I need to CTB tonight

[imdoneee]

Okay so I stole 60 mg of Midazolam from work, and 70 mg Oxy. It hasn't been discovered yet, but it's just a matter of time really. I called in sick today, because I want to spend the day with my dog before I go.

But what the fuck should I do? Could it work if I inject 60 mg of Midazolam while in shallow water? Would that make me pass out, and then drown while being passed out? I need to go tonight, can't stay around to be caught for stealing drugs, nope no way

 

[Hope:-)]

I'm sorry to hear of your predicament. If you say you were and are suicidal to the police they probably wouldn't charge you so you have an option there if you so wish. Wishing you the best xx

 

[fastFWD]

damn dude I wish you well if you're ready; if not, any way to put them back? maybe dark web instead? i don't know much about midazolam; good luck! :/

 

[imdoneee]

I'm sorry to hear of your predicament. If you say you were and are suicidal to the police they probably wouldn't charge you so you have an option there if you so wish. Wishing you the best xx

I don't think they'd care honestly, I'd still lose my job and authorization.. :( but thank you!!

damn dude I wish you well if you're ready; if not, any way to put them back? maybe dark web instead? i don't know much about midazolam; good luck! :/

I think I'm as ready as I can get, I don't want to be here anymore, really I just want to go

 

[Euthanza]

Oxycodone max dose is 400mg/day, you need at least 1,6g oxy in combination with 500mg Fentanyl to CTB. So it will depend a lot in midazolam to make you unconscious then drop into water after 30-60 minutes. Idk honestly if it's gonna work, max normal dose oxy is 10mg/day. Sorry, I think the gambling is high in this.

 

[Meineendscheidung]

Auch dein Schmerz wird vorüber gehen, ich wünsche Dir ein schmerzfreies Ende

 

[imdoneee]

Oxycodone max dose is 400mg/day, you need at least 1,6g oxy in combination with 500mg Fentanyl to CTB. So it will depend a lot in midazolam to make you unconscious then drop into water after 30-60 minutes. Idk honestly if it's gonna work, max normal dose oxy is 10mg/day. Sorry, I think the gambling is high in this.

But Midazolam is supposed to work quite fast, I think? IV.. I've never taken it before but I know patients I've given it to before have gotten 1-2 mg so 60 mg should be enough to knock me out, or?

 

[Fktw0rld]

Ugh this situation sucks. I'm sorry you're caught up in it and considering a hasty exit. The last thing you need is add to your list of worries. But I fully understand your position as I've attempted 4 hasty exits myself. Spend the day with your dog and do some further research. I understand your hopes of the medication knocking you out to the point your body's natural instincts is to not fight the drowning process. But there are better options you can solidify by this evening.

Respect

 

[denix66]

La dosis máxima de oxicodona es de 400 mg/día, necesita al menos 1,6 g de oxi en combinación con 500 mg de fentanilo para CTB. Por lo tanto, apareció mucho del midazolam para dejarlo inconsciente y luego caer al agua después de 30-60 minutos. Honestamente, no sé si va a funcionar, la dosis normal máxima de oxy es de 10 mg/día. Lo siento, creo que el juego es alto en esto.

La dosis máxima de oxicodona es de 400 mg/día, necesita al menos 1,6 g de oxi en combinación con 500 mg de fentanilo para CTB. Por lo tanto, dependerá mucho del midazolam para dejarlo inconsciente y luego caer al agua después de 30-60 minutos. Honestamente, no sé si va a funcionar, la dosis normal máxima de oxy es de 10 mg/día. Lo siento, creo que el juego es alto en esto.

La dosis máxima de oxicodona es de 400 mg/día, necesita al menos 1,6 g de oxi en combinación con 500 mg de fentanilo para CTB. Por lo tanto, dependerá mucho del midazolam para dejarlo inconsciente y luego caer al agua después de 30-60 minutos. Honestamente, no sé si va a funcionar, la dosis normal máxima de oxy es de 10 mg/día. Lo siento, creo que el juego es alto en esto.

500 milligrams of fentanyl..... Because via... I think it's outrageous... By IV with 5 mg, you sure take the bus... no.??

 

[imdoneee]

Ugh this situation sucks. I'm sorry you're caught up in it and considering a hasty exit. The last thing you need is add to your list of worries. But I fully understand your position as I've attempted 4 hasty exits myself. Spend the day with your dog and do some further research. I understand your hopes of the medication knocking you out to the point your body's natural instincts is to not fight the drowning process. But there are better options you can solidify by this evening.

Respect

Thank you for being understanding! What do you mean better options?

 

[Fktw0rld]

Thank you for being understanding! What do you mean better options?

I don't think we're allowed to discuss anything in depth but between the medication you've acquired that will lower your conscious ability to fight and your need for a speedy exit; I feel like if you removed the drowning part and replaced it with something you can do in the comfort of your home or a hotel room you'd be set. Assuming you currently have or have the ability to acquire a few basic items. If not, than I understand why you're leaning towards drowning.

 

[Niirvana]

One question, did you feel like you had to steal that in order to make the ctb decision once and for all? I plan to sabotage myself until I have no other option than ctb

 

[Euthanza]

But Midazolam is supposed to work quite fast, I think? IV.. I've never taken it before but I know patients I've given it to before have gotten 1-2 mg so 60 mg should be enough to knock me out, or?

Ahhh sorry my bad, I mean 30-60 minutes midazolam by ingestion, while you're injecting IV so probably yes it will knock you unconscious faster
3-5 minutes according to drugbank
https://go.drugbank.com/drugs/DB00683

 

[Euthanza]

500 milligrams of fentanyl..... Because via... I think it's outrageous... By IV with 5 mg, you sure take the bus... no.??

Sorry, I mean Fentanyl 500 mcg (micrograms), 7 patches @75mcg

 

[wljourney]

Okay so I stole 60 mg of Midazolam from work, and 70 mg Oxy. It hasn't been discovered yet, but it's just a matter of time really. I called in sick today, because I want to spend the day with my dog before I go.

But what the fuck should I do? Could it work if I inject 60 mg of Midazolam while in shallow water? Would that make me pass out, and then drown while being passed out? I need to go tonight, can't stay around to be caught for stealing drugs, nope no way

Uhm... this sounds all rather iffy and while I understand that you are desperate to go, you may want to take a bit of a break to actually read up on what happens if you inject Midazolam intravenously.

The problem I see right now is: you will pass out before you can actually administer enough M for a fatal dose.
Not sure how much training you have in IV injections/setting up for an IV catheter, how much M you can administer at once and how fast etc.

Please don't get yourself in more trouble than necessary by attempting and failing.

Deep breath.
Cuddle your dogs.
Read more about your plan and triple check your strategy.

Best wishes

 

[imdoneee]

Uhm... this sounds all rather iffy and while I understand that you are desperate to go, you may want to take a bit of a break to actually read up on what happens if you inject Midazolam intravenously.

The problem I see right now is: you will pass out before you can actually administer enough M for a fatal dose.
Not sure how much training you have in IV injections/setting up for an IV catheter, how much M you can administer at once and how fast etc.

Please don't get yourself in more trouble than necessary by attempting and failing.

Deep breath.
Cuddle your dogs.
Read more about your plan and triple check your strategy.

Best wishes

I'm a nurse so I know how to set up for an IV catheter. Midazolam is supposed to be injected slowly but what's the worst that could happen if I just push it all at once? I die?? I changed my plan to push Midazolam while having several plastic bags wrapped around my head. 60 mg of Midazolam is A LOT and should keep me unconscious long enough to peacefully die from lack of oxygen, or..?
Oh and obviously I'm still here lol. I'm fucking trapped, I'm just waiting for the moment that I'll feel brave enough to just do it I've done everything I wanted to do before going, so there's no practical things needed to be done anymore at least

 

[wljourney]

I'm a nurse so I know how to set up for an IV catheter. Midazolam is supposed to be injected slowly but what's the worst that could happen if I just push it all at once? I die?? I changed my plan to push Midazolam while having several plastic bags wrapped around my head. 60 mg of Midazolam is A LOT and should keep me unconscious long enough to peacefully die from lack of oxygen, or..?

That's good, so you know the technical stuff and how M works and you know the LD50 of M etc etc.

TBH I am not sure what can happen when you push too fast. I just know from looking into other methods (Nembutal as example) that it can't be self-administered in sufficient amounts before you pass out. The PPeH describes and shows a few solutions some people have come up with (like a spring loaded device to continue administering N while the person is already unconscious).

Maybe that's d/t dilution and simply volume that would have to be administered. Maybe Midazolam comes in higher concentration and needs less volume to lead to death?

Only you can decide if it's worth trying.

Dying would probably not be the worst case scenario here, but being found, rescued, then found out where you got the drugs from, losing your license, losing your job, etc etc etc.

So, read up a bit about other people here. You may find some experience reports from people who have used Midazolam. Plastic bag around head can help, yes, but you need to be extremely sedated in order to not unconsciously trying to claw that bag off your face.

Please don't take my questions or suggestions as criticism.
I simply don't want you to be worse off than before.

 

[Everlong]

Yep, the water. Make yourself as comfortable as you can and take the extended baptism. I'm using SN and taking a roll off the kayak as insurance.

 

[wljourney]

Yep, the water. Make yourself as comfortable as you can and take the extended baptism. I'm using SN and taking a roll off the kayak as insurance.

Oh that's an interesting choice!
Do you think you'll be unconscious enough not to feel the effects of drowning or are you simply not too worried about that?

 

[Everlong]

Oh that's an interesting choice!
Do you think you'll be unconscious enough not to feel the effects of drowning or are you simply not too worried about that?

That's the hope

That's the hope

Yeah, suffering dies concern me. But I can do anything for 30 seconds. I've lived like this for 30 years.

 

[denix66]

Sorry, I mean Fentanyl 500 mcg (micrograms), 7 patches @75mcg

Ok, I guessed that it was a mistake... for me the problem is extracting the fentanyl from patches... I have read some guide using methanol but I am not sure I know how to do it and then I should impregnate an absorbent with the liquid to use via sublingual....... The most peaceful method is fentanyl but I am not able to inject iv. Greetings to you

 

[TiredLostHope20]

Good Luck Friend.

 

[noaccount]

Hi imdoneee. I know we only just met and I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. I get that you need peace and to get away from whatever shit is happening and I hope that happens for you, I'm here if you do see this and want to say anything.

 

[Hollowillow]

Maybe put it back and use a method that won't ruin your career if it fails? Less stress.