Venting i need input. please reply.

[desolatebeing]

i took a small break from the site and all and idk i feel the same. i really still want to to kill myself but i imagine all the people i'd disappoint and make upset. i mean i care and all but sometimes i really am so close to just jumping in front of a semi. my drinking hasnt gotten better. and i feel that's making it worse. when drunk i feel all powerful and the resolution feels at hand. when i drink i feel like i can kill myself with ease and leave the world the same. when drinking i feel like i can leave everyone without leaving a mark.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are in this situation. It really is horrible being alive. In my case I would only ctb if I was absolutely certain and had no more doubts. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[motel rooms]

sometimes i really am so close to just jumping in front of a semi.

That's a very bad method...

 

[_elliott]

drinking is definitely something that is super hard to undo, i wish you the best of luck with that. have you tried reaching out to an AA program?