I miss the peace when i thought i was about to die

[limitededitiongirl]

It was 6 years ago now my first real attempt that i thought could have worked. I got a bunch of sleeping pills and one night i finally decided to take them, i was crying before it a lot, but once i took them it was so peaceful. I thought that was it, and it was okay for like 30 seconds, no noise in my head, no more life, I don't remember what happened after that. I woke up in the morning, apparently i vomited it up, didn't even need to go to the hospital, my parents just thought i was sick. Ever since then i miss that feeling of peace.

 

[itsgone2]

Have you tried again since then?
Sometimes I feel peace when knowing I'll do it. Then i remember how scared I am to try and it's like starting this nightmare all over again.

 

[sulvumnolo]

The opposite of that is the feeling of failing to follow thro, feeling completely stuck in this life against your will.

 

[limitededitiongirl]

Have you tried again since then?
Sometimes I feel peace when knowing I'll do it. Then i remember how scared I am to try and it's like starting this nightmare all over again.

Yeah one time, it was peaceful too, lying in the grass and bleeding out, that was my last attempt because life sort of got better after that one, but now i think i need to try again