lady sea
the sea is my string of hope
- Feb 24, 2019
- 40
I have been through so much change within the last year. I want to go back... so badly. I wish I never met the people I did, the decisions I made, the words I said, the things I did, the drugs I took.
I was looking back in my camera roll and I genuinely seemed happier a year ago then I do now. I was supposed to get better, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HEALTHIER. Instead, I got worse. I don't only harm myself now, I starve myself. I look at my beautiful thin friends with perfect bodies and all I can think about is how ugly and fat I am. When will I look like them? I was supposed to look good by now. I altered my appearance to try and make myself look better but now all I have is damaged hair and even more insecurities without make up. I wish I didn't have the mindset I do.
I wish I could live in the ocean where everything is calmer and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.
Oh to be a wave in the ocean.
I was looking back in my camera roll and I genuinely seemed happier a year ago then I do now. I was supposed to get better, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HEALTHIER. Instead, I got worse. I don't only harm myself now, I starve myself. I look at my beautiful thin friends with perfect bodies and all I can think about is how ugly and fat I am. When will I look like them? I was supposed to look good by now. I altered my appearance to try and make myself look better but now all I have is damaged hair and even more insecurities without make up. I wish I didn't have the mindset I do.
I wish I could live in the ocean where everything is calmer and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.
Oh to be a wave in the ocean.
