I decided a couple weeks ago to end my life this coming Sunday. After firmly making the decision I felt a sense of peace I haven't ever really felt before. The normal sadness and triggers I have been dealing with seemed to have vanished overnight. I have been able engage with people and life in a very enjoyable way. This experience hadn't changed my perspective, but it has made the days easy and light.
Last night things changed and the depression started to creep back in. Now I am right back where I was before setting the date. I knew it wouldn't last forever but I was hoping it would carry through till the end.
I still have some practical things to do before my departure and made some commitments I want to see through but Sunday evening can't get here soon enough.
I plan to make a goodbye post Sunday morning and interact with everyone here until it's time. After that I will delete my passwords and browser history right before I give my release from this pain.
Last night things changed and the depression started to creep back in. Now I am right back where I was before setting the date. I knew it wouldn't last forever but I was hoping it would carry through till the end.
I still have some practical things to do before my departure and made some commitments I want to see through but Sunday evening can't get here soon enough.
I plan to make a goodbye post Sunday morning and interact with everyone here until it's time. After that I will delete my passwords and browser history right before I give my release from this pain.
