So something really really bad happened. I considered this scenario to be somewhat likely. But I am still surprised it came to fast.
So a couple of months ago my former therapist announced to write lies in my medical records. And she implied no one will believe me due to my conditions. I stopped the therapy immedtiately and prepared for filling a complaint. We communicated in writen form for a while and she contradicted her so many times. Honestly, her mails were embarassing. So many grammar, spelling and logic errors. I collected so many of them. I demanded a copy of my medical records. I realized she manipulated them. I didn't write that in my complaint. I wrote it more neutral in a more defensive way. But I had hard evidence that the entries of the medical records that were negative could not be written at dates she pretended. I put a lot of work into it. I worked 2-3 months almost daily on my complaint. Countless of times have I phoned with patient counsellors. And I contacted someone from an ethics organization that handles unethical behavior in psychotherapy. Maybe not the entries are actually the worst. They are pretty bad. But the rest of my medical records are perfect and I had a lot of clinic reports that have more impact compared to the entries of my former therapist. I think the bigger issue is. I cannot trust the system anymore. Sometimes I had the feeling (my friends considered that exaggerated) that I got emotonally raped. You are in such a vulnerable state in therapy and then your own therapist comes to you and stabs you in the back. I always was worried such a thing could happpen to me. And I was sort of prepared emotionally and I acted in the right way strategically but seemingly it had no benefits. I talked with my psychiatrist about it. I hoped she would support me. But instead she backed my former therapist. My former therapist called her and my psychiatrist just adapted to her talking points. She was on her side. I got the letter from the psychotherapy chamber. And my case was dismissed. They believe my therapist in every single point. It sort of sounded like a defense paper of her defense attorny. They were fully on her side. There was so much evidence and so much indications. And nothing. She got away with it. She will be laughing about me. They even dismissed to add to my medical records my own perspective. Usually you have the right to add your own perspective to your own medical records. The chamber of psychotherapist didn't say anything about that. It seems like my therapist rejected my right. And they are doing nothing against that.
I am not sure whether I want to continue the fight if it that rigged against me. Theoretically maybe they would want me to ask her politely to add my perspective to the medical records. But fuck that. I won't do that. She would just dismiss it. Theoretically and they also wrote that I could sue her to get my right. This would cost a lot of money though. And it would be quite risky. I called the patient counellor of the chamber of psychotherapist a couple of times and I had the feeling they are extremely biasd in favor of the psychotherapists. This is why I considered such an outcome somewhat likely. But I didn't expect they would deny adding my perspective to the medical records. I looked up the person who wrote me. And damn I should keep my mouth about that person...all the reviews online of that institutions were horrible. All the patients say how extremely unfair the complaint filings are handled.
Reading the text of the chamber felt like spitting in my face. And my therapist knows about my suicidality. Also in my report I explained that I had a couple of clinic stays because of suicidality. And such remarks have the potential to ruin my life even further. I am just so sick of them. I wonder how these people can sleep at night. I think though if bad stuffs happens in their life. And in many lives there will come something very bad. I hope they think it will be karma. I just find these people despicable and disgusting. Their families should feel ashamed of them. They are human scum. And what is with patients who got actually physcially raped by a therapist? They would most likely also dismiss such cases.
I am not sure how to continue. I think I won't beg her to add my perspective. That would feel humiliating. And there would not be a big benefit. One could even argue that without my perspective added it is easier to oversee her remarks. This was actually a reply by a patient counsellor. I will take a break of anything therapy or clinic related for a while. I already told my psychiatrist (who I actually really like) that I lost trust in psychotherpay and the system. And she didn't like to hear that at all. I think going to a clinic woulnd't be good anytime soon. I should not mention that complaint to new therapists or staff members of clinics. If they decided in favor of me I could at least say look they agreed that what she did what was wrong. Instead when I tell the clinic staff they decided against me they most likely will reply it was actually my fault. They back each other all the time. And you know I would be really really pissed. And this wouldn't be a good start for a new clinic stay. But of course all of this is extremely toxic for my paranoia when it comes to therapy and clinic stays. I already struggled with that. And now my life proved shit like that actually can happen and there will be no one who defends me. Instead the whole industry is backing themselves.
I think wanting to take revenge would rather be stupid. The only thing would be leaving a bad online review. But actually this won't change anything. My former therapist could get into trouble if another patient of her filed a complaint. I read with the first complaint the chamber is usually in favor of the therapist. But if this occurs more often they start to turn.
I am not sure whether the people who decided actually know they are bad people. It was very obvious my therapist lied and there was so much evidence. They mostly ignored it or didn't want to see it. I had so much evidence I only hand in the most important stuff and told them they could see everything if they wanted to. My complaint bypassed the first hurdle. They say 20-40% of all complaints are rejected at the first hurdle. I am not sure whether they thought "actually she sounds guilty as fuck but it is the first time this happens and the lies won't have such a strong impact". But honestly my trust in this system is gone. I am disgusted by all of them. I wonder how they sleep at night. They should feel ashamed. Maybe they think there is a lack of therapists so actually we are doing something positive when we defend her.
Actually, I wanted to keep the complaint a secret in front of my psychiatrist. But last time she explicitly asked me and I told her the truth. I don't want to make her my enemy. But I think if she asks me I will tell her I don't want to make new psychotherapy or don't have new clinic stays. And for my medical records it would probably be better if this topic was buried. So it would be better to keep quiet about it in front of other people.. But I have paranoia in clinic stays because there is such an overstimulation. And the whole case goes through my mind a lot. and will go through my mind. And it will be triggered when I meet new therapists. I will have a hard time to trust them. And actually it would be better to keep quiet about it. And actually the logical conclusion is not to do therapy anymore if I cannot be honest about what is going on in my mind. The whole thing is so perverted. I think the biggest lesson is to leave people when they seem sketchy. I was pretty desperate when it comes to therapy I always knew she seeemed unserious but I thought it is better than no therapy. I was quite wrong about that. I should have left therapy earlier and not take anymore. I came to her after I almost killed myself.
It could happen that I kill myself in the next years. My current psychiatrist would experience the aftermath. But actually it is not about her. She doesn't have to feel guilty. It was also a battle of wits against my therapist. And actually intellectually I won against her. She contradicted herself in so many ways. At the start I had no evidence at all. And with every exchange I got more and more evidence against her. If she acted in a smart way my complaint would have been dismissed from the start and wouldn't have bypassed the first hurdle. But the judge wasn't neutral there are many stories online where patients share similar stories. Despite the fact the evidence is clear they defend the therapists no matter what. All they care about is the reputation of the therapists or their own class of people. Disgusting...Really disgusting...I wonder why so many people kill themselves. I wouldn't expect that if the system works that...but of course we care about your well being....
So a couple of months ago my former therapist announced to write lies in my medical records. And she implied no one will believe me due to my conditions. I stopped the therapy immedtiately and prepared for filling a complaint. We communicated in writen form for a while and she contradicted her so many times. Honestly, her mails were embarassing. So many grammar, spelling and logic errors. I collected so many of them. I demanded a copy of my medical records. I realized she manipulated them. I didn't write that in my complaint. I wrote it more neutral in a more defensive way. But I had hard evidence that the entries of the medical records that were negative could not be written at dates she pretended. I put a lot of work into it. I worked 2-3 months almost daily on my complaint. Countless of times have I phoned with patient counsellors. And I contacted someone from an ethics organization that handles unethical behavior in psychotherapy. Maybe not the entries are actually the worst. They are pretty bad. But the rest of my medical records are perfect and I had a lot of clinic reports that have more impact compared to the entries of my former therapist. I think the bigger issue is. I cannot trust the system anymore. Sometimes I had the feeling (my friends considered that exaggerated) that I got emotonally raped. You are in such a vulnerable state in therapy and then your own therapist comes to you and stabs you in the back. I always was worried such a thing could happpen to me. And I was sort of prepared emotionally and I acted in the right way strategically but seemingly it had no benefits. I talked with my psychiatrist about it. I hoped she would support me. But instead she backed my former therapist. My former therapist called her and my psychiatrist just adapted to her talking points. She was on her side. I got the letter from the psychotherapy chamber. And my case was dismissed. They believe my therapist in every single point. It sort of sounded like a defense paper of her defense attorny. They were fully on her side. There was so much evidence and so much indications. And nothing. She got away with it. She will be laughing about me. They even dismissed to add to my medical records my own perspective. Usually you have the right to add your own perspective to your own medical records. The chamber of psychotherapist didn't say anything about that. It seems like my therapist rejected my right. And they are doing nothing against that.
I am not sure whether I want to continue the fight if it that rigged against me. Theoretically maybe they would want me to ask her politely to add my perspective to the medical records. But fuck that. I won't do that. She would just dismiss it. Theoretically and they also wrote that I could sue her to get my right. This would cost a lot of money though. And it would be quite risky. I called the patient counellor of the chamber of psychotherapist a couple of times and I had the feeling they are extremely biasd in favor of the psychotherapists. This is why I considered such an outcome somewhat likely. But I didn't expect they would deny adding my perspective to the medical records. I looked up the person who wrote me. And damn I should keep my mouth about that person...all the reviews online of that institutions were horrible. All the patients say how extremely unfair the complaint filings are handled.
Reading the text of the chamber felt like spitting in my face. And my therapist knows about my suicidality. Also in my report I explained that I had a couple of clinic stays because of suicidality. And such remarks have the potential to ruin my life even further. I am just so sick of them. I wonder how these people can sleep at night. I think though if bad stuffs happens in their life. And in many lives there will come something very bad. I hope they think it will be karma. I just find these people despicable and disgusting. Their families should feel ashamed of them. They are human scum. And what is with patients who got actually physcially raped by a therapist? They would most likely also dismiss such cases.
I am not sure how to continue. I think I won't beg her to add my perspective. That would feel humiliating. And there would not be a big benefit. One could even argue that without my perspective added it is easier to oversee her remarks. This was actually a reply by a patient counsellor. I will take a break of anything therapy or clinic related for a while. I already told my psychiatrist (who I actually really like) that I lost trust in psychotherpay and the system. And she didn't like to hear that at all. I think going to a clinic woulnd't be good anytime soon. I should not mention that complaint to new therapists or staff members of clinics. If they decided in favor of me I could at least say look they agreed that what she did what was wrong. Instead when I tell the clinic staff they decided against me they most likely will reply it was actually my fault. They back each other all the time. And you know I would be really really pissed. And this wouldn't be a good start for a new clinic stay. But of course all of this is extremely toxic for my paranoia when it comes to therapy and clinic stays. I already struggled with that. And now my life proved shit like that actually can happen and there will be no one who defends me. Instead the whole industry is backing themselves.
I think wanting to take revenge would rather be stupid. The only thing would be leaving a bad online review. But actually this won't change anything. My former therapist could get into trouble if another patient of her filed a complaint. I read with the first complaint the chamber is usually in favor of the therapist. But if this occurs more often they start to turn.
I am not sure whether the people who decided actually know they are bad people. It was very obvious my therapist lied and there was so much evidence. They mostly ignored it or didn't want to see it. I had so much evidence I only hand in the most important stuff and told them they could see everything if they wanted to. My complaint bypassed the first hurdle. They say 20-40% of all complaints are rejected at the first hurdle. I am not sure whether they thought "actually she sounds guilty as fuck but it is the first time this happens and the lies won't have such a strong impact". But honestly my trust in this system is gone. I am disgusted by all of them. I wonder how they sleep at night. They should feel ashamed. Maybe they think there is a lack of therapists so actually we are doing something positive when we defend her.
Actually, I wanted to keep the complaint a secret in front of my psychiatrist. But last time she explicitly asked me and I told her the truth. I don't want to make her my enemy. But I think if she asks me I will tell her I don't want to make new psychotherapy or don't have new clinic stays. And for my medical records it would probably be better if this topic was buried. So it would be better to keep quiet about it in front of other people.. But I have paranoia in clinic stays because there is such an overstimulation. And the whole case goes through my mind a lot. and will go through my mind. And it will be triggered when I meet new therapists. I will have a hard time to trust them. And actually it would be better to keep quiet about it. And actually the logical conclusion is not to do therapy anymore if I cannot be honest about what is going on in my mind. The whole thing is so perverted. I think the biggest lesson is to leave people when they seem sketchy. I was pretty desperate when it comes to therapy I always knew she seeemed unserious but I thought it is better than no therapy. I was quite wrong about that. I should have left therapy earlier and not take anymore. I came to her after I almost killed myself.
It could happen that I kill myself in the next years. My current psychiatrist would experience the aftermath. But actually it is not about her. She doesn't have to feel guilty. It was also a battle of wits against my therapist. And actually intellectually I won against her. She contradicted herself in so many ways. At the start I had no evidence at all. And with every exchange I got more and more evidence against her. If she acted in a smart way my complaint would have been dismissed from the start and wouldn't have bypassed the first hurdle. But the judge wasn't neutral there are many stories online where patients share similar stories. Despite the fact the evidence is clear they defend the therapists no matter what. All they care about is the reputation of the therapists or their own class of people. Disgusting...Really disgusting...I wonder why so many people kill themselves. I wouldn't expect that if the system works that...but of course we care about your well being....
