I live in a shithole, suffer from illnesses. Can't keep a job to move out. If I only had a "on/off" switch in my pocket.

[Motoko]

I live in a shithole. My aunt is letting me live here and pay a small amount of rent, so I live here. If I had "on/off" switch to ctb, I would move. I have many diseases. I feel miserable living here, it's like people who are homeless and live in some abandoned urban buildings, but I don't want to go into the details. If I had only this "on/off" switch, maybe I would move out. Rent a normal room. I quit my jobs all the time, so most of the time I don't have a constant income. Maybe if I got a pull-up bar, it would be my "on/off" switch. I would buy it, rent a room and if I fail another time, or get too big disease flare up, then I can just ctb with pull-up bar+rope. But I have constant doubts if that would work. F*cking hell. I don't know what to do. I need a sure way out. Then I can try with life, if that fails, then I have a plan B.
What would you do if you were me?

 

[greyhound]

Sorry to hear that sounds like you are in a bad position. I am in similar. What diseases are you suffering from if you don't mind me asking?

 

[deleted]

I would like a button for a nuclear bomb. Also I live in shit the only difference is that I have no diseases, I'm always looking for improvement while I'm breathing but if this shit doesn't work I have sn with me... I kind of feel like I can face hell now

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I wish I had an immediate self-destruct button on myself I could push. I'd have done it years ago. I understand your situation - I live in a really rundown apartment with high crime and no privacy with my husband with whom we've been unhappily married for a long time, but I can't leave because of no money or income on my own and my poor health with all my diseases and conditions, physical and mental. I'm in pain every day all the time. There is nothing good or positive about my life anymore no matter how hard I try finding them in 'the little things' like all the positivity quotes and memes and people constantly preach about. I'm just tired and sick and live in filth and there's no way out...except one. sometimes I am amazed how my life became THIS. I never imagined things would get this hellish for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think having a guaranteed way out would make life more bearable, knowing we could leave this world at any time. It's the feeling of being trapped that is the worst. This life really can be cruel and health conditions can ruin our lives. It sounds like a difficult situation to be in, I wish you the best.

 

[Motoko]

Sorry to hear that sounds like you are in a bad position. I am in similar. What diseases are you suffering from if you don't mind me asking?

Joints and intestine.