Venting i keep thinking its going to get better

[strawberrydino]

Idk i go like a couple of weeks not feeling bad, even a couple of days where I feel good and I can obssess over media that I like. But eventually for no apparent reason everything comes crashing down and I feel like shit. I just start crying for no reason and I can't stop.

My sleep schedule always gets worse before these outbursts but I really think thats due to my mood not my mood being affected by sleep schedule. I just feel luke total shit and I keep failing to make the change I want. Nothing I do feels like it matters because I end up back here. I keep feeling like the only way I can be done with this stupid back and forth cycle is to just end it. I mean obviously I won't its been so long already. I just hate doing this. Every step I take ends up nowhere. Yeah life isnt sparkles and rainbows but why is it this hard.

 

[PetrichorBirth]

That means you're not completely "over the edge" yet. Hope you can break the cycle someday.

 

[Belkon]

I understand you; I also experience sudden episodes of depression, and although I am aware of the reasons, I'm not always feeling bad because of them. What's left for us, while we don't have the courage for a drastic decision, is to cling to refuges, like games are for me, even though people have made me develop traumas around that.

 

[strawberrydino]

I understand you; I also experience sudden episodes of depression, and although I am aware of the reasons, I'm not always feeling bad because of them. What's left for us, while we don't have the courage for a drastic decision, is to cling to refuges, like games are for me, even though people have made me develop traumas around that.

Whenever I get depressed I just don't enjoy anything. I just stare at tiktoks or youtube or just sleep. I try to enjoy a game or a book but I just know I'm forcing myself. Thank you for the advice tho I'll keep trying.