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painless_death

painless_death

Member
May 9, 2021
16
I am constantly delaying my suicide date and i literally have no idea why i keep doing that.
 
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BlankUser

Mage
Apr 24, 2021
501
Same here. Been procrastinating for 3 years. And then always regret it. I'm just torn apart.
 
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BlankUser

Mage
Apr 24, 2021
501
Maybe because we're not ready to leave yet?
Maybe... Maybe deep down we have hope that things will get better? But I know that I will never live a fulfilled life because there's no cure for my OCD. But I don't want to leave my boyfriend... So, constant dillema.
 
painless_death

painless_death

Member
May 9, 2021
16
Maybe... Maybe deep down we have hope that things will get better? But I know that I will never live a fulfilled life because there's no cure for my OCD. But I don't want to leave my boyfriend... So, constant dillema
For me, ik nothing would change in the next 100 years in my life, idk what i am waiting for. i literally have no hope and if don't ctb soon, i'll just end up hurting myself and those around me if they get too attached to me.
 
B

BlankUser

Mage
Apr 24, 2021
501
For me, ik nothing would change in the next 100 years in my life, idk what i am waiting for. i literally have no hope and if don't ctb soon, i'll just end up hurting myself and those around me if they get too attached to me.
Maybe it's SI playing with us. Or maybe we don't want to die, but we don't want to live like this? And since we know that our circumstances won't change, the only way to end the pain is death... It's such a confusion.
 
painless_death

painless_death

Member
May 9, 2021
16
It's such a confusion.
indeed it is. I know for sure that i don't wanna live a life like this, i just hope when i die i get reincarnated in a better human being with a lovely family and a promising future since the idea of utter nothingness is scary af
 
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Curiousoutlook

Curiousoutlook

Born Alone, Die Alone.
May 9, 2021
84
It like we want to but there are things that are holding us back such as friends and family...
 
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painless_death

painless_death

Member
May 9, 2021
16
It like we want to but there are things that are holding us back such as friends and family...
i don't think someone IRL actually loves the real me though; well, i know for sure that they would miss me & mourn over my death but deep down, they don't really like me for who i am, they either like the version of me that i created for them to see, the version they created in their heads or because loving me makes them feel good about themselves. I am pretty sure my family/friends aren't the reason behind this procrastination
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,674
It's probably because suicide is just so final, it's the end of everything. I feel like for many people a planned date doesn't work and many do it when their suffering has got too much and they are desperate. I wish you the best, it can be hard when you know you want to leave this world but are unable to go through with it.
 
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Whole-Ad

Experienced
Apr 4, 2021
200
I never set a specific date because I knew that when it was the right time, I would know. This is literally the biggest decision I will ever make, so there's no reason to rush it, just let it be. When the time comes, I'll know and I'll be ready and I'll have accepted the fact that my life is coming to its end.
 
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