Venting I just want to feel loved

[Trayus]

Why is it so hard to find someone who is willing to take a chance on me? I am so sad, i never wanted to spend all my life alone. Why do some people have it so easy when finding love? Never truly experiencing intimacy, cuddles, sex... it sucks so much. Why cant i be normal and lovable? I know i probably could have done more to achieve those dreams, like working out and trying harder to find someone... but its only setback after setback, i dont have the strength to keep going like this. No proof this will ever change or get better. Only one way out.

 

[Ghost2211]

Im sorry you're so lonely. It's interesting to see the contrast since I want to die because I did find love and it tore my heart apart. I suppose both extremes are unlivable.

What do you feel is keeping you from finding a partner?

 

[lunargreenx]

I always think like this. Then I remember, that those Instagram flashy profiles are fake people.
Pretty people have better access to everything, but in the end every one of their relationships crumbles because it's based on superficiality. When they find that out, they realize they are not so lucky after all.

I strive to be average. Because having average looks, average amount of money and average IQ, is not average at all. It's more than good.

 

[Trayus]

I think the problem is my unattractiveness and my shyness. Because i am ugly most girls on online dating never give me a chance and because of my shyness i am unable to approach women in real life. Outside of my work i also do very few things outside, all my hobbies are activities that i do alone. So the opportunity to actually find someone is very slim, i only have myself do blame... which i do. often. I feel so much regret over my life choices, i never thought they would punish me so hard. If i had chosen more outgoing activities, being a bit more social... maybe i woulnt be here today.

I dont think i would be a bad partner, if i finally had the chance with someone. But the chance never came

 

[Futile]

I perfectly know that feel, in fact I've made a thread with almost the same name a couple weeks ago.

Sadly, my uglyness will forever deny me all these experiences, but at least death will end the pain

 

[Dark Spring]

I'm sorry you feel so alone. I know it may sound stupid but is there anything you like to do? Any sports or online games too? In my adolescence I met very nice people through online games, there I met my partner, also many people take advantage to socialize in spaces like a gym or others. I don't know how you feel about socializing with strangers, but maybe start going out a bit, a walk in the park or whatever, maybe not to find a partner immediately but it can help you clear your head, I'm sure you are a beautiful person and you don't deserve to feel bad or lonely.

 

[Ghost2211]

I think a lot of people think they are uglier than they really are.

 

[Futile]

I think a lot of people think they are uglier than they really are.

Trust me, when you are really ugly the world will make sure to let you know it

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

I think a lot of people think they are uglier than they really are.

As someone who sees themselves as ugly, this plays on my mind sometimes. Like, how often do I actually think someone else is ugly? Basically never. The older I get the more I see everyone as their own kind of attractive, however it is. Everyone has something.

 

[Ghost2211]

As someone who sees themselves as ugly, this plays on my mind sometimes. Like, how often do I actually think someone else is ugly? Basically never.

Exactly, I see some faces nicer looking than others, but I don't think I've seen anyone I consider flat out ugly. I feel like I'm ugly, but others say I'm pretty. I think they are full of shit lol.

 

[k75]

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I wish I had some good advice, but I really don't. I can say love doesn't magically fix things, though. Intimacy can be disappointing and leave you empty, even if it's nice in the moment. And if you have it and lose it, that's also pain. I can't seem to recover from losing the person I loved most.

People are rarely as unattractive as they think they are. Even traditionally pretty people often think there's something wrong with them. I criticize myself relentlessly, but I don't really judge people around me. Chances are, other people are the same way. And if they are telling you you're ugly, that says a lot about the kind of person they are. Probably not worth your time!

If you really want to give it another shot, I don't think it's ever too late. It's work, though. You can't just hide and hope something finds you. I mean, how many people can you meet if you never leave your house? Maybe you could start small and just start going to places where you'll encounter people with similar interests? Not with the intention of meeting people, so your shyness isn't in the way. But you'd have a better chance of finding someone with something in common, which helps a lot. Looks are not a good foundation, but enjoying something together is.

 

[almost_dead]

Im sorry you're so lonely. It's interesting to see the contrast since I want to die because I did find love and it tore my heart apart. I suppose both extremes are unlivable.

What do you feel is keeping you from finding a partner?

now i am curious birdie , what happened ? how did it tore ur heart ?

 

[Ghost2211]

now i am curious birdie , what happened ? how did it tore ur heart ?

I won't derail with my story, but feel free to stalk through my post history a bit.

 

[almost_dead]

I won't derail with my story, but feel free to stalk through my post history a bit.

i hate you birdie

 

[Ghost2211]

i hate you birdie

It's ok I still love you even if you're grumpy.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

i hate you birdie

Mean! But I think Rosey doesn't want to derail OP.

I feel the same. People say it's better to have loved and lost. I don't know..

 

[TheSomebody]

I think a lot of people think they are uglier than they really are.

In fact it is the opposite, because the mirror makes us feel more beautiful. So people think they are more beautiful than they really are, I am an example.

 

[almost_dead]

Mean! But I think Rosey doesn't want to derail OP.

I feel the same. People say it's better to have loved and lost. I don't know..

its a joke smartass

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

its a joke smartass

Sorry, I'm new here! I rescind my Hmph react..

 

[almost_dead]

Sorry, I'm new here! I rescind my Hmph react..

its okay , i can understand , it may seem rude to others but its fun for me to poke/tease rosey

 

[Ghost2211]

its okay , i can understand , it may seem rude to others but its fun for me to poke/tease rosey

You know, if you want me to share my snacks I will.

 

[_Kaira_]

I fuck up any relationship I'm ever in. One of the biggest problems with BPD among other things. Even if people do manage to get past my lack of concern with my looks, the relationship is certainly doomed to fail from the start because of my lack of emotional control. I also don't like plaguing others with my self loathing and lack of will to live life like everyone else.

 

[almost_dead]

You know, if you want me to share my snacks I will.

fite me birdie

 

[Deleted member 19654]

In fact it is the opposite, because the mirror makes us feel more beautiful. So people think they are more beautiful than they really are, I am an example.

Sometimes I'll have days where I feel okay with the way I look in the mirror and then someone takes a picture of me and I always look absolutely terrible. Cameras are evil

 

[TheSomebody]

Why is it so hard to find someone who is willing to take a chance on me? I am so sad, i never wanted to spend all my life alone. Why do some people have it so easy when finding love? Never truly experiencing intimacy, cuddles, sex... it sucks so much. Why cant i be normal and lovable? I know i probably could have done more to achieve those dreams, like working out and trying harder to find someone... but its only setback after setback, i dont have the strength to keep going like this. No proof this will ever change or get better. Only one way out.

Yes, I am exactly as you described. I know what it's not like to be loved by anyone. Such a life like this is not worth it. I think that even if I were rich I would be depressed if there was no one on my side

Sometimes I'll have days where I feel okay with the way I look in the mirror and then someone takes a picture of me and I always look absolutely terrible. Cameras are evil

Same here. In the mirror we are used to our appearance, not to mention that the mirror inverts our image. In a camera, we have our image from other angles that we are not used to seeing, besides that the image is not inverted anymore, which would be closer to how other people see us.

In the mirror I think I'm pretty-avarage, but in photos I look like a dragon, I'm really horrible. And the fact that people call me ugly, even my parents, is proof that the mirror lies to me :c

 

[Ghost2211]

fite me birdie

I'm a lover not a fighter. We can settle things with a bong and some pizza.

 

[almost_dead]

I'm a lover not a fighter. We can settle things with a bong and some pizza.

bet

 

[LonelyNick]

Finding love and loosing it is so horribly painful. You can't win...

 

[Meditation guide]

Why is it so hard to find someone who is willing to take a chance on me?

Often people who have this problem live in a smaller town or a place where past a certain age everyone is settled down into a marriage with children. I don't like the phrase "take a chance on me" because it's not as if you are something that needs to be tried out. They either are attracted to you in some way or not.

When I hear that phrase "take a chance on me" it sounds like a total misunderstanding of what dating or getting to know someone is all about. People can see right away if you have something to offer that attracts them. If you have no car no job no education no future and no money or income and are in need of help with some things which is obvious, or have some apparent problems with how you relate to people that can repel others.

 

[LittleJem]

I don't know if it will help you, but I've read Phenibut is great for shyness and makes people more sociable. It shouldn't be taken every day, but can be used maybe twice a week - e.g. if you are going out or chatting online.

For me, I'm more sociable when I'm feeling less anxious/depressed - so anything that helps me with that (which for me is always something that alters my chemistry somehow) is helpful.

I do also have male friends and also my boyfriend who have visited sex workers (hope you don't mind me saying) and there are also sex surrogates and even sexual healers. So while it might not be perfect or the same as having a partner, it could be a good step to experiencing touch and intimacy and maybe even build your confidence.

If this is offensive, I'm happy to delete it - I just know quite a few men who have visited sex workers when they have not been seeing anyone - and as long as the sex worker isn't trafficked, then I think it's fine.