I just realized that my brain is a torture machine and it needs to die.

[Weebster]

My brain has convinced me that the things of this world matter. What I want isn't even attainable. Im in emotional agony because I care too much about this illusion/simulation. To ignore this superimposed reality and die seems the most logical since my life has turned into a nightmare much like Tom Cruise's fantasy life in Vanilla Sky.

My brain will fight me til the end by throwing "heartache," "the desire for sex," "companionship" at me to dissuade me.

 

[Red Scare]

How Kafkaesque

 

[Weebster]

How Kafkaesque

How so? I've only read half of The Trial.

 

[Red Scare]

I just mean kafkaesque in the sense of, relating to, or suggestive of Franz Kafka or his writings; especially: having a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality. Kafkaesque is used to describe a situation that is almost surreal. It is often considered to be a difficult situation, likely resembling a nightmare.

 

[Weebster]

I just mean kafkaesque in the sense of, relating to, or suggestive of Franz Kafka or his writings; especially: having a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality. Kafkaesque is used to describe a situation that is almost surreal. It is often considered to be a difficult situation, likely resembling a nightmare.

Oh ok

 

[sealbabies]

I wonder, do you often disassociate? I certainly feel the nightmare so much sometimes nothing seems like it's actually happening. Like how is any of this real? Why?
Other times, I feel like I am distracted back into living... but I don't feel myself.

 

[tiredofbeingme]

My brain has convinced me that the things of this world matter. What I want isn't even attainable. Im in emotional agony because I care too much about this illusion/simulation. To ignore this superimposed reality and die seems the most logical since my life has turned into a nightmare much like Tom Cruise's fantasy life in Vanilla Sky.

My brain will fight me til the end by throwing "heartache," "the desire for sex," "companionship" at me to dissuade me.

Hope is a big part of the survival instinct i think, something better, future happiness

 

[Weebster]

I wonder, do you often disassociate? I certainly feel the nightmare so much sometimes nothing seems like it's actually happening. Like how is any of this real? Why?
Other times, I feel like I am distracted back into living... but I don't feel myself.

Idk. What does dissociating feel like?

 

[FuneralCry]

Living can be very painful as our thoughts can torture us. To me, life just seems to be pointless and unnecessary suffering. We were all perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. I see it as being horrifying that life is even a thing in the first place.