Leonard_Bangley39
Hate life but scared of death
- Nov 6, 2025
- 220
i just hit the fat layer i just hit the fat layer i just hit beans i just hit the fat layer i dont know what i feel it feels like nothing and everything at the same time i went on twitter and looked up "shtwt" anbd saw really bad pictures and videos of super huge and deep cuts on peoples arms and it made me feel awful and i got a really uneasy feeling in my stomach so i immediately closed twitter and curled up in bed trtying to to not think but everything felt bad and awful and all myu friends are inactive because i work night shifts so i cant talk to try and clear my head and distract myself and then i started scrolling online to look at memes to try and forget and a bunch of relationship memes came up and i felt lonely and sad so i started reading manga and it got to a section where this one kid was weird and all alone in class and it made me feel like shit so i just said fuck it and decided that i was gonna cut to if not feel better then feel something so i took my old blade, wrapped it in tape for safe disposal, grabbed a fresh new razor blade, taped one side, and while watching a vocaloid music video (split dance to be specific) made a cut on my right forearm without looking i didnt want to look at it so i just watched the video and went by feel for how much pressure to apply and when i finished the cut and looked down it was pretty wide and looking at it made me feel uneasy so i wrapped my arm in my towel and when i dabbed the blood away the inside didnt look white and smooth like my styros usually do it looked all lumpy i think i ended up hitting the fat layer ive never hit the fat layer before i went to my bathroom and poured the rest of my hydrogen peroxide onto my cut and it ended up stinging its never stung before i poured hydrogen peroxide onto it and wrapped my arm tightly with my towel i feel weird i dont want to do this