I hope to not be back in 263 days

[t0rch]

I am going to try to make things better.

I say that a lot. I remember saying that almost a year ago but here I am. Yet I've decided this to be my last attempt in wanting to live. Whatever it takes to not make an attempt on my own life for 263 days or ever.

I've not been around SaSu long, but followed by 4 idiotic failed attempts scattered in 2 years, I truly felt trapped. Of all aspect of life I have no control over, I am overwhelmed by the idea of having no control over my own death. That's when I found SaSu. I now feel more confident in my ability to opt out at any time. And if all else fails, I will.

I envision myself jumping off Beachy Head, perhaps flying a little, before it's all over for the good. Or partial hanging; I just hope my SI wouldn't kick in. At that point, I will have no regrets over not having tried.

My last requests before I leave: may I have some words of encouragement and hope?

I really appreciate you all, the lovely people on this forum. I hope this is a farewell and I hope to not to be back in 263 days.

I hope you all find your peace.

Best wishes,

t0rch

 

[cogmachine]

i wish you the best. i hope your recovery works out for you, stay strong brother.

 

[Zetsubou]

I wish you the best of luck out there. I don't think it's ever too late to try recovery again. I hope you find your peace, whatever that may look like.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm really glad you're trying and I hope it all works out well.

 

[FacePALM]

I hope with all my heart you make it! Deciding to get better takes a lot of courage and strength, I wish you the absolute best!

 

[itsallpointless]

I hope you don't come back either :) Best of luck, safe travels!