I hid a knife in my jacket and confronted my father for the first time

[deleted]

It happened last year he came home drunk and was cursing me, I have a deadly hate for this guy, I still remember the beatings he gave me when I was 7 years old. I felt free for the first time confronting this piece of shit, but if he had touched me like he did when I was little I would have stabbed him, I was sure I would, however I don't want to play the only opportunity I have to live a normal, crime-free life, has anyone else gone through something similar? What to do when you live with the person who was responsible for your trauma?

 

[TriggerHappy]

wow: i understand how hectic / insane that situation is - have been in it myself :: i got into a physical altercation with a nephew who came at me drunk & with a gun (he suffers ptsd) so I couldn't react like I wouldh'v and fight him back - I just diffused the situation...
strangely - it's made it even more difficult :: i feel just like you do :: this insane anger at him ( i sometimes wish i could crumple him up like a piece of paper...) combined with this i'm so damn angry at myself for keeping it all inside and not teaching him a lesson (whatever the outcome) and yeah - my family just treat it like it never happened (as do i) it's just one less person to give a fuck about when i leave this place.... so yeah: you have a right to feel your feelings -even if they're inconveniently timed :: they're coming up 'cos you need to pay attention to them...

 

[summers]

What to do when you live with the person who was responsible for your trauma?

You are already on the right path. Make sure your father fears you the way you feared him when you were younger. You are now the dominant person in the house.