i have to wait to kill myself

[freedomfreezerstar]

i am planning to kill myself when my family is on vacation or out of the house (they have been going on vacation for some reason during the pandemic, i have been kind of hoping they would give me covid and kill me), but the restrictions look like they are gonna get higher. I am a little bit worried, i feel myself slipping into a self destructive passively suicidal spell again and I get extremely anxious when I feel like I can't suicide. I don't think they are gonna go on vacation for a long time and this increases the chances of them possibly finding me. I started thinking about this maybe a month ago and I didn't plan to live until February, I literally thought I was gonna die right in january, i have not been paying attention in college, etc etc.

 

[WornOutLife]

I literally thought I was gonna die right in january, i have not been paying attention in college, etc etc.

I know that feeling. I thought I was gonna die last August but now I'll living until 2021.

Anyway, wish you the best and hope you can find peace.

 

[sadworld]

My first attempt was like 5 years ago... I also had planned to die in summer this year... I'm sorry your feeling trapped like that...

Sending and

 

[Mr blobby]

I feel you. I was supposed to go on a short break next month. Go to a 5 star Hotel for a few nights, full spa treatment, all inclusive and get the job done there.

But unfortunately I'm in the uk and this f****** retarded tier 4 mutant virus lockdown BS is killing me slowly. They say we have to stay home and can't travel probably till Easter. I don't know what to do.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I have the same issue and it's extremely frustrating; frankly it makes me more suicidal because I can't leave exactly when I want. Instead I have to follow the schedule of my relatives when they go on vacation or when they go to visit one of their friends.