Venting I have nothing to do but think.

[Acopia]

I've just started a new job, one that I've worked hard for and one that I love. I've been working non-stop since December (bar 2 weeks that I had to take off because I caught Covid).
Sadly, due to some admin cock-up regarding pre-employment checks I've been forced to take some time off while the appropriate paperwork is completed, but I HATE just kicking about the house doing sweet fa waiting for other people to do their jobs.
The longer I spend out of action, the more depressed I become, the more depressed I become, the more my mind wanders back into thoughts of self-harm & suicide.
Weekends are the worst because I can't even ring anyone to chase it all and keep things going. All I can do is sit and wait for Monday to roll around again.
I hate being idle. It's shite.

 

[WornOutLife]

It seems you're the kind of person who deals better when life when they're really busy. That's actually quite good!

You should find a freelance job. For instance, a friend of mine started watching programming videos on youtube (JAVA) and now he works as a freelancer programmer all day long and gets lots of money.

Best of luck and hope you can feel better soon!