I have no one to say goodbye to. im young. life isn't for me. im a black sheep and of the 8 plus billion squandering the earth I can't be a part of it

[kingkong57]

WHY IS SI SO hard to overcome. Rhetorical statement ignore that. I've found that BEnzos... yeah they help. shiz do they help drown that repulsive instinct out.
I will be swept under a dirty carpet of lies and cover ups and so on and so on. Family is a selfish selfish imposed prison can't we all see!. And Darwin, Old pal. You got me.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I see you are all over the place, try distracting yourself for a second so you take your attention from racing mind, racing mind never helped anybody.

 

[JinZhin]

Please be careful with benzos - try not to develop dependency on them because what follows after is hell

 

[kingkong57]

Please be careful with benzos - try not to develop dependency on them because what follows after is hell

Can you describe the hell I'm heading towards please?

 

[JinZhin]

Can you describe the hell I'm heading towards please?

There are lot of resources online on how terrible benzo dependency is and how even more terrible getting off benzos is, but in short, if you start taking too much, too often, you won't be able to function normally without them- which can be fine, but realistically taking them for too long can be harmful. Benzo withdrawal is one of the most terrible things to go through, as you get crippled by anxiety, insomnia, muscle aches and spasms, irregular heartbeat, increased sense of dread, dehydration, loss of balance and generally difficulties with spatial orientation, memory loss, terrible concentration etc. These aren't all, but all of them are pretty standard if tapered correclty, it can be less painfiul but in worse cases, one can even get seizures, severe panic attack and even die.

And oh, the worst thing is how long the withdrawals lasts, that's why most people end up going back to them

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is also not for me. Being alive really is horrible, it sounds like you are going through a lot. Whatever happens, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.