Venting I have no clue how to socialize.

[Require_love]

It might seem strange, but I have no clue. Social cues? That's differential algebra. When do I speak so that my point gets across but I don't want to cut others off? Everyday occurence.

I don't understand how to be normal, act normal.... And since I've always been less of the social type, my entire "socialization" was on the internet. I often used internet lingo like "lol", "cringe" unironically irl. Gosh...... I wish to stop. I wish I could understand people and not freeze like a deer when it was my turn to speak up.

Then I got dysmorphia. I can't go one step without fussing about being ugly-faced and dark skinned. I can understand that it took a very big cut from my self esteem, now I'm unsure if my friends were really my friends, or if I deserve to breathe air. I can say all this now because I feel sane and relaxed, but when I think about how stupid, inept and socially immature I am, I go into a spiral and cut to cope, sometimes porn. I wish there was a book for this.

Guys, I just want to be normal and accepted. I don't want to be "that weird guy", being bullied as an adult is a different type of shit. Fuck it I can feel like I'm spiralling rn, damnitall.

 

[jifscrater]

It took me a long time to realize that the real key is just to relax.
The less you're stuck in your head, the better.
It's better to seem like you have no filter than to have too many.
Just talk. Listen. Then talk some more.
Trust yourself -the more you do it, the easier it gets.

 

[bus catcher]

Same, I don't understand how to socialize or understand social cues. I just hope people like us can find others who we can be ourselves around. I'm currently just planning on going trial and error to socialize and learn from those around me.

 

[hang in there]

I used to have crippling social phobia and could not even speak to my relatives.
After I got on anxiety meds and learned how to handle my discomfort I have really just stopped giving a fuck entirely when it comes to social situations.
I am my weird obnoxious nasty self and if someone doesn't like it they can fucking suck it.
If you focus too much on how others percieve you, you will never be satisfied because that is the one thing you cannot control.
Obviously I shut my mouth in situations where it is pertinent (work, etc) but beyond that I am just foul and a lot of people hate me. Good, fuck them. I can be myself without giving a shit what anybody thinks.
You just have to find a way to calm down and stop overthinking every move you make.
Like the way you communicate is totally fine. If somebody thinks it's cringey to use internet slang IRL then they are just a tight ass stick in the mud and cannot step away from perceptions, themselves.
You cannot be perfect and social adroitness is not really something it's important to get caught up on, in the grand scheme of things.