Discussion I Have Never Been This Sure About Wanting to Die.

[OutOfThisBody]

I hate that I have to wait until Wednesday night, long story why. I wish I could do it right now.

The little hurting voices of doubt I heard before are mostly gone. They were never my thoughts anyway, just the thoughts of others.

Whenever I check the facts with these thoughts, I feel more sure of my self. Reality is that no doubts will ever change the truth. This makes me more sure and more at ease.

My therapist thinks the reason I want to die is not because of why I say, but something else we have to process in therapy, or something. The thing is, I have gone through bad things in my life, and I have my wounds, but none of that changes the truth, you know? Even if I were mentally healthy I think I would be suicidal from my issue.

Anyway, it's peaceful and also frustrating to be sure about catching the bus.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to be gone, to not exist is all I hope for, I just want to never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

 

[OutOfThisBody]

The biggest issue now is I feel so lonely. It's strange to have this knowledge that death is the best option for me and see so many people fine with being alive. It makes me feel insane.

I guess I have to accept that in my final hours I will truly only have myself and my own wishes. That's all that matters. If I want to die, no one can change my mind, no one can stop me.