I have nearly finalised everything.

[Lost Magic]

I have been planning to die for about 3 years now (it's felt like 10). I was staring at my bottles of N and my will with gentle piano music playing in the background. Embracing the melancholy of the moment, I guess. I nearly forgot that I have an appointment coming up to get someone to witness it from the bank. Getting that sorted, this Wednesday, will be one of the last things I need to do before leaving this wretched world. I spent all this time preparing but I never really took the time to think about what my final days will be like. It's such a mind fuck lol. But I feel blessed that I get to go out on my own terms. I have seen what illness and old age does to people. It can only get worse, not better. I would rather have a good death than an endlessly shitty life. Anyway, sorry about the rant. I just had to get it out of my system.

 

[houseofleaves]

 

[Rational man]

I wish you peace wherever you find yourself. Life can be hard. I agree, disease is a awful. Its a fate worse than death and im living it. I wont be getting old so im spared aged illness.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would be so relieved at having the option of a peaceful exit. Old age also sounds so horrifying to me and I agree that things could only get worse the longer you stay alive. I think that life is just meaningless suffering, it is endless problems and misery all for the sake of it. I envy those who are gone as they do not have to endure this pointless existence anymore. I hope that you find what you are looking for. Best wishes.

 

[Shivali]

 

[The_Flying_Fox]

I hope I'm not being too rude, but have you also chosen a date for your ctb?

 

[whitefeather]

I have been planning to die for about 3 years now (it's felt like 10). I was staring at my bottles of N and my will with gentle piano music playing in the background. Embracing the melancholy of the moment, I guess. I nearly forgot that I have an appointment coming up to get someone to witness it from the bank. Getting that sorted, this Wednesday, will be one of the last things I need to do before leaving this wretched world. I spent all this time preparing but I never really took the time to think about what my final days will be like. It's such a mind fuck lol. But I feel blessed that I get to go out on my own terms. I have seen what illness and old age does to people. It can only get worse, not better. I would rather have a good death than an endlessly shitty life. Anyway, sorry about the rant. I just had to get it out of my system.

 

[Lost Magic]

I hope I'm not being too rude, but have you also chosen a date for your ctb?

I don't believe in setting an arbitrary date but If I muster up the courage I want to be gone this year. Just thinking about lasting longer than a year does not sit well. I already have the initial set-up almost complete, the hardest part is yet to come. I just hope to die in peace.
Thanks for your kind words and messages everybody. This has been a rough time lately. Sitting in limbo is not much fun