Venting I hate when people don't try to understand my reasons

[SoulCage]

Today, I had a conversation with a therapist who seemingly does not understand what I am going through. So I felt the urge to share my thoughts here and also ask what people think about this bullshit advice:
"You are currently suffering, because you are fearing a future that may never be reality - why are you doing this to yourself, you could live in the moment instead."

I get that. But you know what? I prefer thinking about the possibilities than not thinking about them at all. Without them, I feel like I am not protected or prepared. This feeling is in my experience way worse than my current situation which is: the fear of making bad decisions prevents me from doing anything that changes my situation, including desires. I no longer have any desires or goals, because trying to achieve them just leads to more pain (as it has been in the past). This situation sucks, I can't deny that. But for me it's more bearable than the conditions of my past and possibly my future.
There are different levels of pain and the therapist's "advice" was simply ignoring that. I think she was just trying to help me realize that, but i hate it that she didn't ask me why I feel like this and instead just told me "there is no point in suffering right now". There is a reason and I wish she would try to understand me instead.

Anyone else who can relate?

 

[Imeavie]

I have heard similar enough times that if I had a dollar for every time, I would be rich enough to buy happiness.
I have been told "you can just choose to be happy", "you're still young enough to change your entire life around" (im almost 30), etc. etc.

If we were not suffering right now, we would not be looking to a future, or afraid of what it will/wont bring.
I hate that you are going through that, and if you are able (I know we get stuck with what we get sometimes) I would change therapists.
I hope things do improve for you, even if its me selfishly wanting to live vicariously through others (who knows at this point).

My advice may not be profound or even helpful, but I often read, watch TV, or do anything I can to distract myself at all times.
Maybe this well help you get through the day at least.

 

[Dejected 55]

This is a peeve of mine. The same people who will chide you for assuming your future will be bad because "the future is unknown" or whatever... are the SAME people who five seconds later will tell you "it gets better" in that same unpredictable unknown future.

So, which is it? Guess about the future or not? And why is my guess based on a lifetime of historically bad experience less valid than someone else's fantasy of a happy future?

Slight tangent... but it's also the same when people tell you to not worry about what other people think of you and only worry about how you perceive yourself... then will come right back at you later with all the things you need to improve or say/do to other people in order for them to like you. Again, which is it? Be myself and like myself and screw what other people think? OR it's important what other people think if you want to have a job or a relationship or something.