I hate sleep so much

[ZRA]

I can't handle that my consciousness needs to shut off every 24 hours. It feels like I start to gain a certain level of lucidity some days, but it just gets CUT OFF and I'm back to decline because I have to restart my stream of awareness. Every night it's this ordeal of trying to silence my thoughts and my cravings for distraction, with the only reward being a Sisyphean reset. If I could, I would pull an all-nighter every night, but I run out of energy in the mid AMs and then just wind up even more sleep-deprived. I don't think it would actually be worth it, but conceptually a manic state seems very attractive to me. I just don't want to continue this pattern of spending my day interspersing self-hatred with meaningless diversions; as soon as I start to make some mental progress, my physical need for rest forces me to throw it away.

 

[jodes2]

I can't get to sleep. I just never feel tired. I'm tired of struggling with it

 

[Zegers]

I can't handle that my consciousness needs to shut off every 24 hours. It feels like I start to gain a certain level of lucidity some days, but it just gets CUT OFF and I'm back to decline

I can relate. There are times when i have some energy and then i get exhausted and have to sleep and the next day i have no more energy or concentration.

 

[pauly1963]

I can't handle that my consciousness needs to shut off every 24 hours. It feels like I start to gain a certain level of lucidity some days, but it just gets CUT OFF and I'm back to decline because I have to restart my stream of awareness. Every night it's this ordeal of trying to silence my thoughts and my cravings for distraction, with the only reward being a Sisyphean reset. If I could, I would pull an all-nighter every night, but I run out of energy in the mid AMs and then just wind up even more sleep-deprived. I don't think it would actually be worth it, but conceptually a manic state seems very attractive to me. I just don't want to continue this pattern of spending my day interspersing self-hatred with meaningless diversions; as soon as I start to make some mental progress, my physical need for rest forces me to throw it away.

It's incredibly annoying that the human body seems to have a mind of its own and often interferes with our mental state. Personally I would love to spend all my time on this nightmare planet in a state of deep sleep. Sleep is the ONLY thing that I want to do, nothing in this world interests me anymore. So sorry you having to endure this.