Do you want to tell about it ? If u r ok with it.
Ah dude.There's so much to unpack here. My father was terribly abusive. Mainly to my mother, not so much to his children. Which is me and my sister. He cheated on my mother with multiple affairs. He inherited a lot of money but went through all of it. Traveled all over the world with different women, leaving my mother on her own. He still lived in our house. He was always here, but also always absent. He was very violent. He passed a lot of his tendencies/issues on to me.I guess you could call them disorders perhaps? I haven't been clinically diagnosed. I don't really trust doctors though. Interestingly, everyone in my family is a doctor other than my father and me

.I had severe ADHD growing up, though I found studying very difficult both in school and college.
It's the reason I'm single. I've had so many women show interest in me only for me to push them away. I don't ever want to create an opportunity where I could be like my father. The difference between him?I don't want a relationship where I just squeeze out what I want from the relationship and leave my partner in the lurch. Also, I don't want my kids to curse their fate and wish they were never born like I do every day. So I'm pretty anti natalist as well.
My father died 2 1/2 years ago though. The last year before he died, he made my mother's life especially hard. She's actually been in peace for the last couple of years.I still don't hate my father though. It is what it is and I've learned to let go.