I hate how I look

[anyoneshorizon]

Hating how I looked has ruined my esteem and social life, i would avoid going out and miss many days of school. In private my mother how I didn't like the way, I looked and how It made me feel suicidal. She ended up involving the whole family which made it worse. Now that I'm older I'm focusing on bettering myself to hopefully maybe like who I am. I am stepping way out of my comfort zone to improve my physical appearance. I am also saving up for a nose job. But deep down I feel it won't change anything, but I will try and wait a few months or maybe a year or 2. But if not. Even now I feel horrible and every time I go out I always debate if I should even bother but I'm still going to the gym or to work and shit. i only manage to go out with a mask to hide my face. I'm trying to be a man i try and ignore my insecurity and try to stay disciplined, responsible, and prepared. but sometimes I just start to cry and feel so bad.

 

[toasterbath]

Same I never liked the way I looked. I get disgusted looking at photos other people take of me like friends during schools. I even covered some mirrors in my room because I just don't want to see my reflection.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering. Life is just so cruel and unfair. I hope that in whatever happens you find relief from what you are going through. Best wishes.

 

[LiquidRat]

My uncle is one of the ugliest sacks of shit I have ever seen and he found someone. I'm talking built like a potato with two toothpicks for legs. Fucked up face and personality.

When I feel like shit because I am covered in scars I just remind myself that if he found someone so can I. Even if 99% of the population doesn't want anything to do with you that's still 78 million people who would find you attractive.

Chin up. Get your nose surgery if you really want to, but there isn't a damn thing wrong with you that makes you unlovable.

 

[hungry_ghost]

Can you grow a beard? I've some men make incredible transformations with themselves simply by doing that and working out.

I mean, shit, look at people like Big Fry TV on YT.

When you see him, you'll know what I'm talking about. And he has a girlfriend (who is out his league).

But he is confident and funny and many times personality can override looks.

 

[Unlucked]

Same, although for me it is because I'm transgender and it's mostly my gendered traits that give me distress. I have those on top of just general hatred for my looks, I feel like I look like a crackhead/diseased sometimes in my perception or my facial assymetries and facial proportions give me severe anxiety, as well as feeling like I don't pass as a woman and feeling shame. It's hard to live with and also demoralizing.

Having a congruent sense of self/ core identity starts with having a body that you can associate with yourself and who you are, in my opinion, I think that is fundamental for a healthy and rich life. I think there's significant pressure when you are aesthetically challenged for one reason or another and it can be painful on a daily basis. If it leads to social isolation and issues finding employment it can further demoralize you.

Although some people might call this vanity, id beg to disagree. In my case and in some people's cases I can definitely empathize.

 

[LastFlowers]

Hating how I looked has ruined my esteem and social life, i would avoid going out and miss many days of school. In private my mother how I didn't like the way, I looked and how It made me feel suicidal. She ended up involving the whole family which made it worse. Now that I'm older I'm focusing on bettering myself to hopefully maybe like who I am. I am stepping way out of my comfort zone to improve my physical appearance. I am also saving up for a nose job. But deep down I feel it won't change anything, but I will try and wait a few months or maybe a year or 2. But if not. Even now I feel horrible and every time I go out I always debate if I should even bother but I'm still going to the gym or to work and shit. i only manage to go out with a mask to hide my face. I'm trying to be a man i try and ignore my insecurity and try to stay disciplined, responsible, and prepared. but sometimes I just start to cry and feel so bad.

I understand how you feel, am here for similar reasons (and other shit that stemmed from them).
I'm so sorry you are experiencing this horror.
And the fact that your mother involved the rest of the family..how mortifying.
She should have kept that sensitive information private, in confidence.

Just be cautious with cosmetic surgery, I wrote a lengthy comment about why in another thread somewhat recently, I'm not against it and I realize how it's the only solution for some people in this superficial world, but I've seen it make matters worse for a lot of people (physically and otherwise) so you'll want to tread lightly and research your heart out if you're serious about going through with it.
Be careful. Advocate for yourself.

Remember, your appearance isn't actually "who" you are, it may be conflated with your identity by other people, but you never had a choice in the matter so you should hardly have to take responsibility for nor identify with something you never had a say in.

When I am alone I dissociate as much as possible, separate my mind from my body, all so I can be free to cultivate myself outside of that terrible prison of flesh.
It's much easier to learn to like yourself that way, to see your true worth thus motivating you to try to help yourself, even if no one else will.

 

[Foresight]

When I am alone I dissociate as much as possible, separate my mind from my body, all so I can be free to cultivate myself outside of that terrible prison of flesh.
It's much easier to learn to like yourself that way, to see your true worth thus motivating you to try to help yourself, even if no one else will.

I did this for a long time to survive and it definitely cultivates immense appreciation for your inner world and interests. I thrived in a lot of areas and developed a deep sense of self. This has always been important to me as an "ugly" person.

At the same time I found dissociating weakened me badly in some areas. I might have a strong sense of self but revealing it in the external world is nearly impossible. I'm trying to reenter this body and work on self acceptance, which is the hardest task in the world. It's cool to strength train and do yoga to connect with this vessel. There's a YouTuber named wounded viking I like who specializes here. He lost his jaw to cancer. Just working with the body builds an appreciation for it beyond how it looks. Your motive matters. Doing it for building self appreciation will work better than doing it to try to evoke certain reactions from others that is outside your control.

The way you look is mostly not your fault. Some aspects, sure, but genetics are the primary reason. I think disliking the vehicle you're driving is okay and hard to overcome at times but try not to hate the driver because of it.

 

[HappyForever?]

I'm also in the same boat. My appearance has ruined my ability to be loved and have a place in the world. Cosmetic surgery is out of the question because my parents don't approve of it, and my issues are mainly caused by bone structure and height, which are very expensive, difficult and risky to fix through surgery. It's ridiculous how a few genes can decide whether we live in heaven or hell. I hope everything goes well for you whatever you choose.

 

[neverbeenbetter]

me too, i cant go outside.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Im litterly deformed.