Venting I had the opportunity to attempt and didn't take it amd now i regret it.

[SHThrowAway213]

So my mental health is a bit better due to my husband being around all the time due to lockdown.
Still a little stressed due to money and he had gotten fired because of lockdown. But the night before last I had a very bad night, extremely bad thoughts.
Yesterday, my husband was out for a couple of hours for a job interview.
Because my mental health had been better, I didn't feel the need to try anything.
But yesterday evening, and today I really regret that decision.
I wish I tried something, it may if been the one time it worked.
I regret it so much.
I hate feeling this way.
I just want it all to stop now.

 

[plough22]

So my mental health is a bit better due to my husband being around all the time due to lockdown.
Still a little stressed due to money and he had gotten fired because of lockdown. But the night before last I had a very bad night, extremely bad thoughts.
Yesterday, my husband was out for a couple of hours for a job interview.
Because my mental health had been better, I didn't feel the need to try anything.
But yesterday evening, and today I really regret that decision.
I wish I tried something, it may if been the one time it worked.
I regret it so much.
I hate feeling this way.
I just want it all to stop now.

Keep fighting, you're not ready yet, still life to fight for. Like me, I hope you find peace

 

[theguineapigking]

So my mental health is a bit better due to my husband being around all the time due to lockdown.
Still a little stressed due to money and he had gotten fired because of lockdown. But the night before last I had a very bad night, extremely bad thoughts.
Yesterday, my husband was out for a couple of hours for a job interview.
Because my mental health had been better, I didn't feel the need to try anything.
But yesterday evening, and today I really regret that decision.
I wish I tried something, it may if been the one time it worked.
I regret it so much.
I hate feeling this way.
I just want it all to stop now.

Hello. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, money always seems to be a problem for us "wage slaves" (Having to work for big companies that pay crap and make lots of money off of us).


I used to always get mad at myself for not ending it when my family was gone. They would go out somewhere, so I was home alone. I always contemplated suicide, but sadly, I didn't go through with it. It is always a horrible feeling of being both conflicted and regretful. I'd feel conflicted on whether it was the right time to end it, and feel regret later on when I was still alive. I completely understand that feeling. Except in your case, you don't get the chance to be alone as often. Perhaps, you want to live more than you want to die? You seem to enjoy your husband being around more.

Maybe this is good. Perhaps hold of acting on impulse. How sure are you that you want to die? Do you feel any hope? I really hope your husband gets that job!


Best wishes.

 

[joshe]

Yep i feel that, when it is time, you will know