Venting I had a dream that people around me found out that I was using SaSu

[Orangee]

It was quite the nightmare indeed, and has reminded me yet again about why it is so impossible to search for help nowadays. Some person I used to know came up to me with their phone and was like "hey i gotta talk to you about something". I realize that the website looks oddly familiar, and to my horror, it's my profile page on SaSu. My stomach literally dropped, and I start deleting everything I've posted, but I think it was too late, and I just ran away. Tried to ctb, it didn't work (i just respawned) and was now faced with even more concerned people; teachers, classmates, and all of them were threatening to tell my parents. I beg them not to because they finally believe that I'm okay now and are not constantly worried, but they don't listen to me. I wake up right as I was getting locked up in the psych ward. I hate it because this would be exactly what happened if I reached out to anybody on the topic of ending my own life. It so frustrating that in society, people who are suicidal are treated like ticking time bombs, even though we have been suicidal for years before reaching out and are somehow still alive. Just because we reach out about feeling suicidal doesn't mean we are going to take the nearest sharp object and shove it into our throats. We aren't "more at risk" just because we reached out. For fucks sake, why won't society just understand? I wish I could reach out for help, but last time I did, nothing really changed, and I had to spend months getting people around me to trust that I wouldn't spontaneously combust.

 

[theboy]

It was a nightmare...but that's all it was. A nightmare

 

[Orangee]

Yes, thank you kind internet stranger.

I have mostly gotten over the nightmare now and it has stopped playing in my mind all the time. I hate how parts of it are truths about the world we live in though, just slightly exaggerated.