I get assaulted by this feeling

[whatevs]

That I'm just alive because I fear death, but I loathe most of what life has to offer. Where will I go? What will I do? Will any of it ever make feel like I'm not reluctantly partaking in some ridiculous, tragic dreamworld?

What's outside of life that's calling me? Or I'm just a coward, that can't confront existing?

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

That I'm just alive because I fear death, but I loathe most of what life has to offer. Where will I go? What will I do? Will any of it ever make feel like I'm not reluctantly partaking in some ridiculous, tragic dreamworld?

What's outside of life that's calling me? Or I'm just a coward, that can't confront existing?

You're not a coward, man

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It seems everyone's journey is a bit different. If you're not "there", you are not there. If you get there, you get there. Really profound, huh? LOL I don't think anyone can force it.

 

[needforvoid_]

I'm kinda opposite.
Scared to live. Seems so disappointing, empty, meaningless. Not sure if that makes me a coward, probably. I wonder if everyone else thinks that about life too, and they're just fine living.

 

[whatevs]

I'm kinda opposite.
Scared to live. Seems so disappointing, empty, meaningless. Not sure if that makes me a coward, probably. I wonder if everyone else thinks that about life too, and they're just fine living.

That's more like existential anhedonia than fear. For me life is much more terrifying and stressful/painful than boring or empty. I see clearly that the world isn't a coincidence. It has all the characteristics of a purposeful system.

 

[Painless_end]

I am like this too. I don't know what to tell you.

My mental weaknesses have all but destroyed my career and life and chances of finding a partner / getting married.

My life is very bleak and I constantly feel like not existing. I am unable to kill myself.

I just keep wishing I had never existed.

If anyone asks me, what is the one thing I can wish for right now that would make everything better, I would say "non-existence".

 

[needforvoid_]

That's more like existential anhedonia than fear. For me life is much more terrifying and stressful/painful than boring or empty. I see clearly that the world isn't a coincidence. It has all the characteristics of a purposeful system.

Thanks for the diagnosis. I do feel pain and fear and think life's meaningless as well. Good for you to see clearly.
I'm confused, you said death is terrifying and you loathe life, now you say life is terrifying.
Anyways, good luck.

 

[whatevs]

Thanks for the diagnosis. I do feel pain and fear and think life's meaningless as well. Good for you to see clearly.
I'm confused, you said death is terrifying and you loathe life, now you say life is terrifying.
Anyways, good luck.

Both are terrifying lol, think about it