Venting i gave up, don't know what to do

[madisnotokay]

anyone is feeling useless even when you are thinking about killing yourself? everything was ready and set for the sn method, till i have the brilliant stupid idea to see how the body gets after sn death... and i gave up. i hate my parents, but i couldn't help but thinking about how is going to be for them seeing my body like that, it's terrible. i know that no body is going to look pretty after death but man... i wasnt expecting this. and i gave up. i had all in my hands. and i gave up. i'm worthless even for death. is there any method that is fast but you doesnt look like that? i'm scared that sn is the only way for me.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Hotel room is a good choice if you don't want to traumatize your loved ones.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I'll be honest with you, all corpses look pretty grim. Body after SN doesn't look too nice, but it's still way better than a shotgun or jumping from a height.

But there is something else I really wanted to tell you. You do not exist to be "useful" to others or to make them happy or comfortable. You are not worthless because you have doubts about suicide. You have inherent worth as a human being. I don't know what is your reasoning for CTB is, but I know how this whole "I am useless/worthless/upsetting everyone etc." narrative can play into it, so I really want you to consider that you don't owe anyone to be "useful" for them or to somehow justify your worth and existence. You are a human being and all human beings are precious. Maybe that can at least give you comfort for this moment.