I found a partner and he's depressed like me

[Kirke]

Have you been in this situation?

I met him and started feeling a bit better. I stopped planning to obtain some of the materials needed for my ctb. But now that I know of his issues it feels like a load on my shoulders, it's like the world is grey (and has always been this way). I've returned to my plans, because I feel that there is some chance it could end up in double ctb.

There are no ideal partners and the word 'love' is a verb for a reason. But I feel like I'm too weak, you understand? It feels like me and him are surviving in dark woods.

 

[Supplicium]

Do you love him even though he's depressed as a man?

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

I know it's not ideal, but there's something about those relationships with broken people that I kinda love?

Maybe it's that feeling of being understood, maybe it's because talking about your SI feels less like walking on eggshells, maybe it's because I feel like I get to help someone as much as they help me, idk but I've had deep friendships and relationship with people with whom I relate more on depression and stuff.

Is there something you don't like about it? Is it that you feel like you have to bear his emotions on top of yours? Have you talked to him about it?

 

[knowledgeseeking]

Have you been in this situation?

I met him and started feeling a bit better. I stopped planning to obtain some of the materials needed for my ctb. But now that I know of his issues it feels like a load on my shoulders, it's like the world is grey (and has always been this way). I've returned to my plans, because I feel that there is some chance it could end up in double ctb.

There are no ideal partners and the word 'love' is a verb for a reason. But I feel like I'm too weak, you understand? It feels like me and him are surviving in dark woods.

You must survive in the dark woods, it's better not to do it alone.

I hope you continue to explore and lean on each other. We all find partners that fit us in all kinds of situations and you are lucky to have found someone in your dark situation.

I wish you both the best and who knows, maybe together you will pull each other out of the darkness.

 

[Kirke]

You must survive in the dark woods, it's better not to do it alone.

I hope you continue to explore and lean on each other. We all find partners that fit us in all kinds of situations and you are lucky to have found someone in your dark situation.

I wish you both the best and who knows, maybe together you will pull each other out of the darkness.

Beautifully said. Thank you, I hope so.

Do you love him even though he's depressed as a man?

I feel like I'm trapped within four narrow walls, unable to fully experience my emotions and the world around me. It's as if he loves for both of us. But even so, I've made the decision to love him and think about our future together. His problems have simply painted a gloomy picture for me. Talking about problems with him was painful.

 

[Kirke]

I know it's not ideal, but there's something about those relationships with broken people that I kinda love?

Maybe it's that feeling of being understood, maybe it's because talking about your SI feels less like walking on eggshells, maybe it's because I feel like I get to help someone as much as they help me, idk but I've had deep friendships and relationship with people with whom I relate more on depression and stuff.

Is there something you don't like about it? Is it that you feel like you have to bear his emotions on top of yours? Have you talked to him about it?

I think I looked at him as my sun, and he turned out to be just like me. They say psychologists can't help people with the problems they themselves have, and I feel that in this case mutual support won't cure us and will only stabilise things.

I have friends I can talk about SI freely. I think I wanted my own relationship to be.. a different place for me? Not a male version of one of my friendships (I'm sorry for how cruel it sounds, but the feeling is there).

For the most part, I'm coming from fresh feelings of sadness and disappointment from yesterday's talk right now. None of my words helped.

As for bearing his emotions on top of mine, yes, something about it rings true. Sometimes I can't regulate how information affects me, I can be either completely indifferent or not at all.

We will talk about it.

 

[knowledgeseeking]

Beautifully said. Thank you, I hope so.

I feel like I'm trapped within four narrow walls, unable to fully experience my emotions and the world around me. It's as if he loves for both of us. But even so, I've made the decision to love him and think about our future together. His problems have simply painted a gloomy picture for me. Talking about problems with him was painful.

Sounds like maybe getting out together may help give distraction from both of your problems. Maybe plan a date night or even better day. It doesn't need to wild or expensive, maybe research some walking trails or nature things in your area and you too go.

Simply sitting around together stewing in negativity isn't good for either of you. I hope you try getting out together.

 

[Kirke]

Sounds like maybe getting out together may help give distraction from both of your problems. Maybe plan a date night or even better day. It doesn't need to wild or expensive, maybe research some walking trails or nature things in your area and you too go.

Simply sitting around together stewing in negativity isn't good for either of you. I hope you try getting out together.

Thank you.

 

[charlavail]

I have been in a situation like this. I don't think it's a good idea. We ended because he fixated on an abusive relationship I was in like 8 years ago and tried to blame it on me so it wasn't the depression BUT there were days where all he wanted was to talk about our depression and dive deep into how suicidal we were and I was like "nope, absolutely not."

You also don't want to him to end up becoming the main source of your happiness or reason to do anything. Been there, done that, and then ended up in the mental hospital after a breakdown, relapsing SH, and trying to CTB (unsuccessfully i didn't know about real methods and just tried to cut my wrists)

Idk, maybe I'm being biased but I would just think about it first before you get too invested. also, your decision to ctb should be yours.