Venting i figured out

[annique]

a place here in my house where i can hang from, i've tried it a bit as if i were to actually do it definitely and i think it works quite well... i'm now left with deciding when i should exit existence. i'm considering picking my soon-to-come birthday (which is in august), that'd be a hell of a gift i'd give myself

as i'm still a couple of weeks from said day, i have to enjoy the days i've got left, don't i? what could i do? i've lost interest in almost everything i once liked, i can't even focus on writing, which was something i liked to do oftenly

fortunately, i still got that one suicide note i wrote back in may, when i thought i'd finally go through with dying for good (unfortunately, though, i was too weak and couldn't pull it off... i got the feeling i'm now a bit stronger )

 

[FuneralCry]

I have no idea how to enjoy life. I have never enjoyed being alive at all and living does not interest me. I have never attempted hanging personally as I would fear it going wrong in some way, but I can imagine that it must be a bit of a relief having a plan in place. I hope that you find freedom from your suffering. Best wishes.

 

[Faaye]

you can try things that you would never tried.
I never think I could smoke (yeah, it's pretty basic, but i always hate cigarettes) but I start to smoke, and I feel so much fuckedup now.. thats help me to be a bit more braver to try ctb.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If it were me in your shoes, given the scenario you describe, I would consider doing something that I've never considered doing before, because I was, either, too frightened to do it, or, maybe, do something I thought I'd never be able to do. Like do something outside the box. Something you're uncomfortable doing. Something new to you. Something you'd never consider doing under normal circumstances. Grab the remaining life you have by the horns. Put yourself out there. What do you have to lose at this point?