I feel so much shame when I remember how hard I would try at times

[fallingbehind]

Growing up, Id try to be a people pleaser to be likable, I hoped others would care about me this way, all it did was make me a easy target.

I tried to lose weight, I thought if I was less ugly, people wouldnt shame me as much. I developed an ED, and people hated me regardless of my weight.

I tried wearing better clothes, people made fun of it anyway. Lipstick on a pig.

When I think back to all the time I spent trying to appease other people I have a full body cringe and have to listen to music to calm me down. Its so fucking embarrassing. No matter what I did, I was always wrong. Its not about what I said, or looked like or did. It was me who was fundamentally wrong.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

the people shaming u feel worse than you, not that im excusing them or invalidating you. otherwise if they were happy and content they wouldn't feel the need to do that to someone. It's projection at its finest. there are nice people out there who will uplift you no matter what

 

[Kari0499]

I used to be very soft hearted and sweet, would want to help others always. Hoping someone would be kind to me too and like me back. People would often tell me I'm so nice. Niceness that no one showed me.

I'm just a ghost now. A bitter suicidal numb ghost. No one saw.

 

[pomie]

the people shaming u feel worse than you, not that im excusing them or invalidating you. otherwise if they were happy and content they wouldn't feel the need to do that to someone. It's projection at its finest. there are nice people out there who will uplift you no matter what

i think people are just horrible at their core, some bullies are content and happy

 

[whywere]

Way back when I used to try so hard, then one day it hit me like a meteor, that I would never please everybody and more than likely nobody, so I just went on my way, never doing any harm to anybody, BUT could care less what people think or say, because I have no control over the matter anyways.

Walter