I Feel So Alone

[abruptum]

I feel so alone now more than ever. With the whole scenario of being out of a 3 year relationship (she cheated on me), being in limbo between starting new college, and not having many friends because I end up pushing them away or they get bored when I go through depressive episodes and no longer have energy. Its just all so much. The weight of all of this along with my crushing depression is just getting to a point where I cant handle living if im not distracted in life. Except it seems day after day less things interest me and there isnt much to keep me distracted enough in this world. Its slowly happening again that im getting fits of derealization and life is just existing without the presence of a tangible and fathomable reality for hours on end. Sleeping doesnt work because my body seems to almost reject the thought of wasting time being asleep since I barely use my time well when im awake. I just dont know how to handle any of it I try to keep my cool but its all so much. Walking around my empty home with nothing but the thoughts in my head.
I just want it to end,.,.

 

[WornOutLife]

Me too, my friend, me too.

 

[Meh]

That's unfortunate to hear and I hope you manage to regain some of that colour in life especially since you have good anime taste ;)