I feel like I don't deserve anything

[TheHatedOne]

I feel lost and directionless in life. I have no clue what to do and how to continue in any way. My ctb plan is the only thing I have left, but I'm still thinking about the chance that I fail or that I don't go through (even if I have to). What do I do in that case? I've told myself many times that I have nothing left, yet right now I really have nothing left. Nothing to look forward to. And I'm basically in a crisis situation.

Other than this I feel like I'm absolutely worthless. Ever since I dropped out university I feel like I don't deserve anything. Because I'm not doing anything that's considered "productive". I don't contribute with anything. It's funny cause I'm that kind of person that normally doesn't believe in these and I prefer to shrug off these concepts. Now I can't help but give in, because I really am not doing anything. I just waste resources. Am a complete waste and a failure. I don't even deserve water or the food that I made for myself.

I'm just horrible.

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be dreadful to be in a hopeless situation, there is also nothing here for me in this world. I know that it can be hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. Whatever happens, I wish you the best

 

[miserableforever]

I feel lost and directionless in life. I have no clue what to do and how to continue in any way. My ctb plan is the only thing I have left, but I'm still thinking about the chance that I fail or that I don't go through (even if I have to). What do I do in that case? I've told myself many times that I have nothing left, yet right now I really have nothing left. Nothing to look forward to. And I'm basically in a crisis situation.

Other than this I feel like I'm absolutely worthless. Ever since I dropped out university I feel like I don't deserve anything. Because I'm not doing anything that's considered "productive". I don't contribute with anything. It's funny cause I'm that kind of person that normally doesn't believe in these and I prefer to shrug off these concepts. Now I can't help but give in, because I really am not doing anything. I just waste resources. Am a complete waste and a failure. I don't even deserve water or the food that I made for myself.

I'm just horrible.

Self sabotage is a never ending spiral. Mine goes so far as me refusing to shower cause it's 'a waste of water'
I don't know how to get out of it myself, but just know you're in good company here.
Do something nice for yourself for once. You're not a bad person for dropping out of school and it does not define your future.
If you feel like working on the issue you could start with small things until you're able regain control of the bad feelings creeping up constantly.
I know CTB gives us the ultimate sense of control, cause it's irreversible and we get to decide over our bodies when everything else fails.
Find some sort of new direction, in whatever it may be or in whatever interests you.
I don't know, it's up to you anyway. If you have the strength in you still, it's worth a shot. You are not a waste :)

 

[orange]

You seem to be having a specially rough time lately, it's not a good moment to decide wether to ctb. I can relate to feeling like a waste of resources, but the only logical conclusion I can reach when I follow that line of thought is that the only way for those resources not to be wasted is the extinction of the human race. Your existence does not really meaningfully impact the availability of those resources nor the atrocities commited to obtain them. Not that it makes me feel any better lol, maybe you'll find it amusing idk

 

[lostautist]

I'm experiencing the same feelings except it's due to me being injured, not working and the likelyhood that I won't have a job when I'm ready to return. I'll likely lose everything I own and become homeless and I cannot bear this change. I have no support so I only have one way out. Due to office drama, I'm certain that I won't be back. All I wanted to do was work.