I feel like cutting my face like chucky

[SadCryingBunny]

I have become very depressed lately and I'm barely able to get out of bed. I want to kill myself in my room with my nitrogen & exit bag setup but I don't want an autopsy. My doctor wants me to put me on full disability. My job provider wants to drive uber eats for at least 10 hours a week and I can't. I feel I am going to explode and cut my face severely and if they don't fuck off I will jump off a roof and break my legs. I've cut my arms badly and now have a neck cut. I can't work I hate this life. They're trying to push me to kill myself but I will be paralysed before that happens. When my face gets cut up I will be wearing a covid mask and beanie for the rest of my life.

 

[endlesschatter]

I'm so sorry that you've to go through immense torture. I wish you can get peace soon

 

[Nat.]

I also have a strong urge to cut my face because I dissociate in front of the mirror for hours. The last time, I cut myself on my neck instead. It's very difficult to live. I'm so sorry you're feeling so much pain and desperation. i hope you can find peace

if i may ask, is it a good thing to be on full disability? where i live you get like 800 euros. It's not much, nor is it enough if you live alone, but maybe it's better than working...