I feel like a monster

[Brokenwithbpd]

The previous times I have attempted to ctb and failed, I didn't even think twice about leaving my beloved 2 dogs, now reading some posts on here mentioning their animals, I just feel terrible and like I'm a monster for not even thinking about my dogs and what would happen to them :(

 

[autumnal]

The previous times I have attempted to ctb and failed, I didn't even think twice about leaving my beloved 2 dogs, now reading some posts on here mentioning their animals, I just feel terrible and like I'm a monster for not even thinking about my dogs and what would happen to them :(

It's understandable, at the darkest depths of despair it can be hard to see anything else. At least now you have another chance to do things right by them if you attempt again

If you have someone who would be willing to take care of them after you are gone, but don't want to risk alerting that person about your plans (and want to be able to easily recover them if you fail again) then perhaps this suggestion might help?

Also, bear in mind that if you are considering using SN as a method, vomiting is quite possible and your vomit will contain enough SN to injure or even kill your pets if they eat the vomit, which is quite likely especially with dogs.

 

[Torbasco]

The fact that you were able to look back and realize & reflect on your mistake means you are definitely not a monster. A real monster wouldn't even think twice about it.

 

[Eren]

I don't think you are a monster ... it is difficult to have mental clarity when you are so depressed as to do CTB, also you regret it and want to do things right now. Do not be so hard on yourself.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

It's understandable, at the darkest depths of despair it can be hard to see anything else. At least now you have another chance to do things right by them if you attempt again

If you have someone who would be willing to take care of them after you are gone, but don't want to risk alerting that person about your plans (and want to be able to easily recover them if you fail again) then perhaps this suggestion might help?

Also, bear in mind that if you are considering using SN as a method, vomiting is quite possible and your vomit will contain enough SN to injure or even kill your pets if they eat the vomit, which is quite likely especially with dogs.

Very good to know. I will most likely use SN. However I'm holding off for now. I also now have a husband who would take care of them

The fact that you were able to look back and realize & reflect on your mistake means you are definitely not a monster. A real monster wouldn't even think twice about it.

Thank you for the reassurance!

I don't think you are a monster ... it is difficult to have mental clarity when you are so depressed as to do CTB, also you regret it and want to do things right now. Do not be so hard on yourself.

Thanks for making me feel better xo

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I wouldn't feel guilty about the impact my death would have on animals. Humans, yes; animals, no. But that's just me.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I wouldn't feel guilty about the impact my death would have on animals. Humans, yes; animals, no. But that's just me.

Humans have rejected me time and time again. Never my animals.