I failed today....again

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Didnt wash my hair
forced myself to go outside, only to feel too anxious to buy things I needed
DIdnt cook and ordered out
ate ice cream dn other junk food
havent exercised since last night
Still didnt write those suicide notes
I hate myself

 

[dysfunctional]

We had a similar day.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I managed to shower, cook some dinner and go to the store below my house but haven't even started prepping for my ctb on Thursday night. Feel like there is no rush even though there is a rush.
Don't be too harsh on yourself lovely

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

we all have off days/weeks/months. you're not a failure for that.

 

[Toptock]

Take it one day at a time. it sounds like you're in a cycle of guilt over not completing tasks. That doesn't mean you failed, it just means those things weren't that important today. You're only expected to do so much, especially in such a time of strife.

 

[Worndown]

Death probably should not be the marker by which you measure the success of your day?

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Didnt wash my hair
forced myself to go outside, only to feel too anxious to buy things I needed
DIdnt cook and ordered out
ate ice cream dn other junk food
havent exercised since last night
Still didnt write those suicide notes
I hate myself

Washing hair every 2-3 days is fine.
Not buying things? Way to save money and reduce waste!
Ordered out? Way to support local restaurants who've been struggling during the pandemic.
You exercised last night?! I haven't exercised in literally three weeks.
Didn't write the notes? No worries. You'll find the words eventually.
No need to hate yourself. You didn't fail. :-)

 

[OnlyTheWind]

You're not alone. It's taken me MONTHS to get basic things in order.

 

[fat feet]

Death probably should not be the marker by which you measure the success of your day?

Excellent thought.

 

[fat feet]

Death probably should not be the marker by which you measure the success of your day?

I could not figure out how to reply to you about my name. So I came here to respond.
I was on my feet all day and had not drank enough water. I could feel my feet, they felt fat (swollen) and I had to come up with a name for this site.
It was what I was feeling in the moment.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I can relate. For the past 4 days, I have been staying in bed all day and bingeing like crazy on junk food. (Today I even added alcohol to that...I can't even imagine what the calorie count is between the food and the alcohol...) I have been eating well past the point of fullness because I just want to escape my life and get lost in the taste of the food and the thrill of the excess.

I have not even showered since last Thursday night. I know that is gross but I just cannot bring myself to move. I'm like a whale, just lying in the middle of the bed, not moving...

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I can relate. For the past 4 days, I have been staying in bed all day and bingeing like crazy on junk food. (Today I even added alcohol to that...I can't even imagine what the calorie count is between the food and the alcohol...) I have been eating well past the point of fullness because I just want to escape my life and get lost in the taste of the food and the thrill of the excess.

I have not even showered since last Thursday night. I know that is gross but I just cannot bring myself to move. I'm like a whale, just lying in the middle of the bed, not moving...

Ive skipped showers along with not brushing my teeth. I feel like filth but also have no motivation to clean myself

 

[Blueman]

I can relate. For the past 4 days, I have been staying in bed all day and bingeing like crazy on junk food. (Today I even added alcohol to that...I can't even imagine what the calorie count is between the food and the alcohol...) I have been eating well past the point of fullness because I just want to escape my life and get lost in the taste of the food and the thrill of the excess.

I have not even showered since last Thursday night. I know that is gross but I just cannot bring myself to move. I'm like a whale, just lying in the middle of the bed, not moving...

I'm so tempted to go down this route. Getting out of bed seems so pointless.
It's weird for me as I've had 55 years of getting up early unless hungover. Now with no job and little prospect of getting one bed appeals more and more

 

[mr.smileysad]

Didnt wash my hair
forced myself to go outside, only to feel too anxious to buy things I needed
DIdnt cook and ordered out
ate ice cream dn other junk food
havent exercised since last night
Still didnt write those suicide notes
I hate myself

I rarely wash my hair
If other people wouldn't think something was up I wouldn't go outside
there's nothing wrong with not cooking
I eat extremely unhealthily (think mr.noodles and monster energy)
I don't exercise
you could write the notes anytime you want I wrote the notes a week before I was going to ctb but I didn't and now they're just sitting on my computer
I still hate myself

I can relate. For the past 4 days, I have been staying in bed all day and bingeing like crazy on junk food. (Today I even added alcohol to that...I can't even imagine what the calorie count is between the food and the alcohol...) I have been eating well past the point of fullness because I just want to escape my life and get lost in the taste of the food and the thrill of the excess.

I have not even showered since last Thursday night. I know that is gross but I just cannot bring myself to move. I'm like a whale, just lying in the middle of the bed, not moving...

there has been a time once where I didn't shower for at least a month

 

[Meditation guide]

Didnt wash my hair
forced myself to go outside, only to feel too anxious to buy things I needed
DIdnt cook and ordered out
ate ice cream dn other junk food
havent exercised since last night

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. It's not the end of the world to not do these mundane everyday chores. I wouldn't let things like this get to you so much. However I'm not in your shoes so I am not judging you. Just saying that if you can go much easier on yourself it would help.

 

[Smudgedlines]

Depression is insanely difficult to get out of. It's like drowning in tar.
Can I suggest that you give yourself one goal a day and if you achieve it focus on that and not what you haven't achieved.
So... try to wash your hair today. You'll feel better. Let us know.

 

[mr.smileysad]

Depression is insanely difficult to get out of. It's like drowning in tar.
Can I suggest that you give yourself one goal a day and if you achieve it focus on that and not what you haven't achieved.
So... try to wash your hair today. You'll feel better. Let us know.

the weird thing for me is I went from suicidal for months to sort of happy so I'm wondering if it was actually depression

 

[Smudgedlines]

the weird thing for me is I went from suicidal for months to sort of happy so I'm wondering if it was actually depression

I know that I went through a period a few years back and I've never ever felt so low. I could've easily just driven into a tree. I can't even remember patches of it... it was so dark. I could barely brush my hair

 

[Karl30]

What anime is your avatar from. ?