Venting i dont want to leave my brother

[ketkrg]

i want to get through the rest of my last year in highschool and live with my brother but i just feel like i cant. its too much,, everything is too much and i just want to die. i want this to be over,, i hate myself and everything i am and i dont know how to just let myself be. im a horrible and selfish person and i feel so bad for everything ive done,, i just want to die already,, but i cant leave my brother.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Do you want to share what's going on and making you feel this way?

And since you mentioned high school, would you mind sharing how old you are?

 

[ketkrg]

Do you want to share what's going on and making you feel this way?

And since you mentioned high school, would you mind sharing how old you are?

my whole family has told me how selfish i am for wanting to kill myself and just not allowing myself to get better. they've always been on me about cutting as they think i'll go to deep and constantly tell me im the reason theyre so stressed and need a break. i just feel like such a burden,, the whole time my brother has tried to tell me not to listen but i just cant help it. i feel worthless and like a failure because im not doing any better and they waste their time on me.

also,, im 19,, in my last year,, school ends in a few weeks and i still have a few college credit classes i need to take over the summer.

 

[SentimentalTrip]

I understand how you feel. I used to be close to my sister, but our relationship deteriorated, in part because I came to the realization that part of why my self-esteem is shit is because she psychologically abused me when we were growing up. But when we were close I felt a deep sadness knowing that I would leave her behind.

I want to let you know that life changes a lot after you graduate high school, and it can change for the better. It's not always the case, but it often is. I'm not sure what's going on in your personal life that's making you feel this way but if you graduate and move in with your brother, you might feel much better than you think. Sometimes when we reach adulthood we find that we're incompatible with our families (or at least we're incompatible as housemates).