Venting I don't want to fight anymore.

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm just so tired. I know I just posted about Lamictal, but I'm probably going to refuse it. I don't want the side effects. It would be the 13th medication I've tried, if I remember right. I'm tired of trying.

My doctor will probably take me off of my current med because it's really worsened my urges to hurt myself.

I really wish I could get over my SI and end it already. I have the SN, antipsychotics, money to travel and book a hotel. Why can't I just fucking do it?

 

[MrAsclepius]

Its understandable, our bodies will do anything to keep us alive. Im sorry your having difficulties, a lot of us here are just waiting for the moment our SI gives in.

I too have taken a full course of pills in my life, infact tomorrow I am having to do a new psych evaluation which is going to be..so much fun.. I wish I could offer advice but it seems meds just dont work for some. Have you looked into\asked about shock therapy? I hear it improves the chances of recovering with meds by a lot, and am considering it myself.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Its understandable, our bodies will do anything to keep us alive. Im sorry your having difficulties, a lot of us here are just waiting for the moment our SI gives in.

I too have taken a full course of pills in my life, infact tomorrow I am having to do a new psych evaluation which is going to be..so much fun.. I wish I could offer advice but it seems meds just dont work for some. Have you looked into\asked about shock therapy? I hear it improves the chances of recovering with meds by a lot, and am considering it myself.

It's very frustrating. I feel like a fraud for posting on here, but meh. Oh well.

Sorry to hear you've been around the med carousel too. A psychologist I talked to suggested I look into it. There's actually an outpatient clinic in a major city near me that does ECT. But it's very expensive, and I'm not sure if my insurance would cover it.

I guess at this point I'm actually considering it. I really don't want to scare my family and friends, though.